It’s a bowling date. Very first ball. When the clerk asked my name I said Mr. Balls and it’s on the scoreboard above me. All the pressure in the world is on my shoulders like Atlas. I turn to face my date, announce that “This is why they call me Mr. Balls”, and throw it down the lane. The stars align and I get my only strike of the night.
That is why they call me Mr. Balls.
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I did this at a softball practice date (I was pitching). Biggest flop of my life.
You need to summon spiritual energy to do balls magick. You have to genuinely believe that you are Mr. Balls, then the universe is bent to your will.
I pitched nothing but balls and everyone was very disappointed.
My date even said “Maybe you’re just not cut out to be a pitcher”.
There’s your problem. You tried to be Mr. Balls in a game where “ball” means a bad thing. You pitched nothing but balls which proves that it’s a mystical power.
Mr. Balls could be a good thing if you were a super hitter that got walked all the time
but half of those players would probably think you were talking about their roid-shriveled testicles
This would work on me.
Same
Our posters out there doing amazing work.
That ball’s name? Albert Einstein
Ballbert Einstein
My advice is you need to say something like: “I learned this trick back when I was studying Ligma.” If they dump you, at least you’ll have owned them.
It’s no trick. It’s sacred communion with balls. I am like a druid that can speak to nature and command it to shape to my will.
The last Ballbender
Everything changed when the oblate spheroid nation attacked.
There is no war in Ball Sing Se
Sometimes you just have to call your shot and trust the universe to make it come true
I feel like calling yourself Mr Cum and immediately throwing the ball into the gutters is way easier
That was most of the rest of the night for me. It turns out I can’t bowl for shit.
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Fun fact atlas carried around the heavens not the world on his shoulders
