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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Frequent_Appeal_793 on 2023-07-06 01:07:50+00:00.
Before I start, I just want to say that I don’t live in the US.
I (54M) have 3 kids, Madison (33F), James (30M) and Abby (27F). Their mother left when Abby was 5 because she didn’t want to be a mother anymore so I had to take care of them by myself for a long time.
Being a single parent was tough. Without my ex’s income, I had to work two jobs so that I could put a roof over their heads and needed the support of my parents to watch them while I was working. I was not able to save a lot but I made sure to put as much money as I could towards their college education so that they wouldn’t have to take student loans.
Madison wanted to become a teacher and James wanted to become a firefighter and both got into their respective fields. Abby wanted to become an engineer but dropped out after 1 year. When I asked her what her plans were, she said her roommate does sex work (onlyfans, porn, prostitution etc.) and makes a ton of money so she wants to get into that. When she told me that, I was shocked. Sex work is decriminalized where we live but it’s still heavily stigmatized. I begged her to reconsider but she refused to listen to me. So I told her that she’s my daughter and I’ll always love her but I don’t approve her career choice and I don’t want to hear the day to day details of her job because that’s gross for any parent to hear.
She’s been doing this for a few years now and has made quite a bit of money from what I’ve heard. Anyway, recently Madison got a promotion in her school and had a party at her house. I didn’t plan on giving a speech or anything but people urged me to so I just said I was proud of her for being successful in her career and hope she continues fulfilling her dream.
On the drive back to my house, Abby (she flew in for the party and was staying at my place) was driving and decided that time would be the best time to have this conversation:
Abby: why don’t you ever tell people that you’re proud of me?
Me: Not now. I don’t want to talk about it
Abby: Why not? I’m also successful
Me: Now is not the right time
Abby: (getting aggressive) No. I want to talk about it now. You can tell people you’re proud of Madison but you can’t do the same for me
Me: (raising my voice) I told you I don’t approve of your job. I don’t want to hear about it and I’m not going to tell people I’m proud that my daughter has sex with men for money
When I said that she started crying and then ran off to her room once we reached home. I admit that I had a bit too much to drink so the next morning I apologized to her for raising my voice and making her cry but I still stood firm that I wasn’t going to lie to myself, to her or to anyone else that I’m proud of the work she’s doing. She called me an asshole and slammed the door in my face. So AITA?