Just wondering…
ARMALITE: Mass Murder for the Masses
This reminds me of a movie from the early 90s called Crazy People. An ad exec has a nervous breakdown and ends up in an institution. He accidentally sends off truthful ads that he and the other patients write, they get produced, and they are very successful. It was a pretty funny movie. Some examples of the campaigns
“Metamucil: It helps you go to the toilet. If you don’t use it, you’ll get cancer and die.”
“You may think phone service stinks since deregulation, but don’t mess with us, because we’re all you’ve got. In fact, if we fold, you’ll have no damn phones. AT&T - we’re tired of taking your crap!”
“Paramount Pictures presents ‘The Freak.’ This movie won’t just scare you, it will fuck you up for life.”
“Porsche. It’s a little too small to get laid IN, but you get laid the minute you get out!”
“Volvos, Yes they are boxy, but they’re safe”.
Those are oddly compelling.
They’re refreshing, really. I’d buy things with slogans like that.
I had completely forgotten about this movie until you mentioned it!
I recall there also being a Sony ad that focused on Japanese stereotypes and how they were shorter and therefore their eyes were closer to the chips they were building, and that made them better than western manufacturers, with some clips of westerners completely failing at their jobs; that one actually made me laugh out loud.
Edit: Found the clip - Sony - Because Caucasians are just too damn tall.
Cloudflare: We’re the single point of failure of the internet
Funny and relevant with it breaking the federation on kbin right now. Nice job.
Hopefully it will change. I’m aware that this is a temporary solution
KFC: It tastes like chicken
Shein, Clothes by kids for kids.
Lego: the same product since the fifties, and that’s actually a good thing
Adidas - Because our founder’s full name sounds inappropriate
Reddit: The Front Page of the Internet (maintained by suckers for free)
Nissan- yeah, our cars are cheap-ish, and we finance ANYONE, but that’s so we can butt-fuck you on parts when our cars inevitably break, repeatedly.
Applebee’s: When you want a skillet meal, but can’t be bothered to heat it yourself
Why microwave food myself when I can go to Applebee’s for (triple) microwaved food?
Sysco would just drop any pretense of branding and rename themselves as “Famine, the third horseman of the Apocalypse” and nothing would change about their business supplying all of the fast food in North America basically.
Any company naming themselves after the four horseman would probably see an uptick in business
