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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/aitathrowawayson2job on 2023-09-13 21:45:56.

About four months ago, I (M54) decided to start charging my son (M21) rent. He has a job and is planning his wedding, but moved back in after college. So I decided it was time. I set a fair rent for our area and expect monthly payments from him, and I fulfill all the duties a landlord would in exchange. He has not shown any opposition to this despite objecting at first, and since he’s an adult I assumed he agreed with me that it is only fair.

Two or three weeks ago my wife asked me if I had noticed anything off about him, to which I answered no honestly. She said that he had more or less withdrawn from us. So she talked to him and he said he was fine, just tired. She pressed him on the matter and he admitted that he had taken a second job, driving for Uber at night and on weekends, so he could make rent and save for his wedding.

When the wife told me, I was honestly proud. I’ve always kind of seen my son as fiscally irresponsible, but here he was doing what it takes to make ends meet. I told her so and she stared at me like I had just grown a third eye. She asked why the hell I was proud to have pushed our son to working nights and weekends to “make ends meet”. She called me cold hearted and a sociopath, which is just plain untrue- I had just exhibited emotion in front of her.

Anyway, she asked if I was going to give him a break from the rent, to which I said no, because why would I? What landlord would sacrifice their own income like that? She told me that she would start paying his damn rent and stormed off, and she’s been cold and callous to me (ironic) ever since. So I’m wondering I guess, am I the asshole?