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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/jeembyhees on 2023-09-13 22:57:18.

I’m a 21 year old transmasc, and I finally started arranging gender affirming care with my doctor which I am very excited about! I’ve wanted this since I was a kid, it feels surreal that it might actually be happening soon.

My mother tries to be supportive of me, but she really wants to hide that I’m trans from my older family. She asked me to wait until my great grandma dies to start HRT, and I told her absolutely not. I understand that it might make her uncomfortable, but it’s not about her. I’m an adult and this is my decision. I waited 9 years to do this, I waited until I was positive— I’m not going to put it off any longer.

Now she’s angry with me. I tried to explain that if grandma has a problem with it, I don’t mind. She’s old, they have their prejudices, I’m prepared for it. But I’m not just going to hide who I am until she dies. I love my grandma, and I want her to know who I am even if she won’t like it.

The way I see it, it’s my transition— it’s personal, for my comfort, not for the comfort of others. I don’t think my mom sees it that way. I get her point, but… I dunno. I’m not budging on this. Does that make me the asshole?

EDIT: Please don’t sent me that “reddit cares” thing, I’m trans, not suicidal.