800 years ago:
Them: Do you confirm you are Dracula?
Dracula: Yes. Here is my ID.
Them: Says here you are dead.
D: Umm. I am not.
Th: And you murdered 10,000 people.
D: Whuu…I what? And how many?
Th: And impaled them on the highway between your castle and the enemy camp?
D: Enemy? Castle? I live in a village by the lake…wait. Impaled? Are you mental?
Th: Also, you drink the blood of your enemies. Out of a cup made from the freshly severed head of an enemy courier…
D: wft? Who are you people? My vegetarian stomach wants to evacuate. The rest of me, too.
800 years ago: Them: Do you confirm you are Dracula? Dracula: Yes. Here is my ID. Them: Says here you are dead. D: Umm. I am not. Th: And you murdered 10,000 people. D: Whuu…I what? And how many? Th: And impaled them on the highway between your castle and the enemy camp? D: Enemy? Castle? I live in a village by the lake…wait. Impaled? Are you mental? Th: Also, you drink the blood of your enemies. Out of a cup made from the freshly severed head of an enemy courier… D: wft? Who are you people? My vegetarian stomach wants to evacuate. The rest of me, too.