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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/theesaanne on 2023-09-27 10:33:13.

My husband’s (44m) sister (36f) thinks we should come visit more and blasted us on Facebook that we are horrible people and never visit her and her severely disabled son(11).

I (48f) would be the one bringing our 13 year old twins to visit because my husband is a truck driver and never home. We also live across the country and we also have health issues just not as severe as our nephew.

Tonight’s issue started with she had posted a couple things on Facebook that didn’t sound quite right about getting a service dog for our nephew. I have a service dog and have trained 3 others plus my mom worked with Canine Companions and guide dogs out of the bay area when I was little and has also trained 4 of her own so I know a little something about service dogs. I mentioned my concerns to my husband and another family member who lives with us, and said I was staying out of it but I was worried that the trainer and dog were not the right fit for what he needed.

Well both of them decided separately to ask a couple questions privately by DM to make sure they were doing the correct research on what was needed. This caused her to blast us by saying we were horrible people who don’t visit or call all the time and shouldn’t have questioned what they were doing and should visit more to have any say.

So some of the reasons we don’t visit often is the cost of travel, she is a recovering addict, we have nothing in common, and you have to be very careful what you say because she twists what you say and lies to other family members about you. The other main reason is that both my kids are autistic and have issues being around their cousin due to over stimulation.

So part of me just wants to block her and not deal with that side of the family. The only reason we are not NC is because of nephew. So am I the asshole