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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Biliardas on 2023-09-30 22:11:53.


My wife and I can’t decide on the name for our baby. Since the start of pregnancy she had a name in mind and it means a lot to her in terms of the name meaning and its associations. We’ve not really discussed the baby names seriously during pregnancy due to focus on other life priorities during that time, and I haven’t put forward any name suggestions until after the baby was born.

So we’ve narrowed it down to two names, Upe (uh-peh) meaning River in our language and Veja (veh-yah, pronounced similarly to Freyah). Upe is the name that my wife wants and I’m not strictly against it but I’m not really excited about it. Veja (meaning wind) is the one that I proposed and my wife likes it but not as much as her option and it doesn’t have the association with water which is important to her. We live in the UK and we’re also a bit concerned about crude associations/name calling if we used name Veja (vajayjay, etc) but not sure how substantiated this is - any opinions from native speakers appreciated!

I’d feel bad if my wife couldn’t use her name, especially since it means that much for her, but at the same time that name doesn’t excite me at all, although with time I would probably get used to it. I really like my suggestion andy wife quite likes it too but not sure if she won’t eventually regret not picking her option due to its meaning to her.

I should add that we only want to use one name, no middle names or double-barrelling.

WIBTA if we named our child using my suggestion, given the importance of my wife’s option to her and the time she had that name in her head?