this might be terrible advice. Maybe since you have PTSD you are dealing with your body going into freeze mode when threatened, but you really need to get more fight mode. Practicing hitting for real and sparring will definitely help condition you to automatically respond when threatened, i have experienced this when i’ve been forced to self defend. It is automatic now.

I think just build up to making it feel safe to spar and feel angry. I feel like when i was stuck in feeling frozen from PTSD, i wouldn’t even let myself feel anger because it was too dangerous for me, so maybe you’re in the same place? Yeesh i’m terrible at this.

If you can’t imagine hurting them over self-defense, maybe try imagining hurting them over some imagined defense of others. When sparring, as long as you’ve got safety equipment on, you’re good to go. it’s great practice for learning. If it’s too real to think of it as real self defense, just think of it as a fun game like fencing to get yourself into it, that lets your body learn how to move and gets your brain time to warm up to the idea of actually hurting another person.

You could try reading some black panther’s theory about self defense and seeing if any sticks with you into why it’s good actually to be ready to hit back. I’m kicking myself because i don’t remember exactly the title i’m thinking of, but Black Against Empire is great, or maybe it was Against Civility. There’s also a citations needed about nonviolence somewhere, i’m sure it’s in the podcasts directory or here’s the transcript.

Anyway, here’s “In defense of self defense” by comrade Huey Newton

“the oppressor has no rights that the oppressed is bound to respect. Kill the slavemaster, destroy him utterly, move against him with implacable fortitude. Break his oppressive power by any means necessary.”

the water makes it extra conductive

I agree, most likely it’s one of those things that arose independently or we won’t ever really find the first usage of the term.

BUT, since i was curious, I tried searching “Genocide Joe” on oldest search, which supposedly tries to find the first time something appeared. That’s saying the first instance of the phrase “Genocide Joe” was this instagram post on Oct 18, 2023, but i’m kind of

Not sure how else to search for it though.

IF that’s true, then this hexbear post on October 16 does actually predate the instagram one though. So there’s no evidence against the hexbear originated the term theory, (that i could find), and that’s certainly the funniest theory. Still, i think it probably just happened organically in a few places at once lol.

Honestly as someone who reads a lot, theory and nonfiction is generally a challenge to get through. I have to cycle through easier books and nonfiction/theory. Some theory is easier than others, but if you’re trying to start a reading habit, i wouldn’t start with dense texts unless you’re prepared that it will be a bit hard.

Maybe try something more engaging to get your brain used to focusing on reading and then you can try to intersperse some theory in between fiction or graphic novel chapters or something? That’s what i do.

I feel like reading is almost a form of mindfulness, where you have to be completely focused on the task to really absorb everything. So it takes some time to get used to focusing like that for extended periods of time. It’s a lot easier when the book is entertaining, lol!

Some people i’ve known have read along with an audiobook to help focus, too.

Sorry for the wall of text, i’m just a book lover so i like to help other people get into it when they seem interested :)

Yesterday i got called a “tankie incel” for pointing out that biden supports is(n’t)real, and that states doing genocidal oppression aren’t doing democracy

I mean, i am a tankie, but it’s not like they should have known that from my comment

they always ask me if i want sharing plates at the restaurant and i always so no, but end up sharing anyway

remember when trump got like two billion dollars in free coverage from the news and everyone was like damn, maybe we shouldn’t do that next time

Well, the news corps are at it again folks. More and more people are saying it. They’re gonna meme the big red boy into the white house again

Two one term fascists fighting over which gets to be the next full term war criminal in chief

The further in time i get away from my breakup from my ex, the more i see the red flags.

People really do hide their controlling nature until years in sometimes 😔Another reason victim blaming is shit. Like sorry i didn’t realize someone was hiding their worst from me until years later And when the person you trust most is acting like what they did is no big deal, it’s easy to gaslight yourself into accepting it.

CW mild references to non-physical abuse

Land back

Tiktok isn’t an app for kids, i don’t want to be ageist - it’s for all ages and everyone can have fun on there. But the way tiktoker’s talk on tiktok and other platforms with their cutesy little euphemisms for violence and sex does make me think every time “Ah, they’re used to the kiddie app”, because it’s making grown adults be afraid to talk about adult topics.

This is just the fault of censorship and not the app or the users, but it is literally sanitized kiddie language and feels very out of place and hard to take seriously on websites that don’t have that censorship.

understandable lol, i hope you find a pizza you can have (that is free)

Being autistic like:

You should come to this arbitrary social event where your only function is to be there.

Surely no one cares about those social events? No one’s really explained why we should do this other than tradition.

If you don’t come to the social event, everyone will be mad

Why can’t i just be social when i feel like it?

i expected the bin laden compound tbh

this is called freeganism, personally i’m not okay with even free carnism bc it’s not like 99% would eat a dead pet unless starving, so it sort of reinforces that it’s okay at all to consume some species bodies, but i don’t want to start a struggle session about it. seems pretty harmless compared to the rest of carnism lol, but it’s still not vegan (IMO) to consume animal products when not needed. Dumpster diving is based in general so that part is cool though. one of the food not bombs i’ve been to uses a lot of food that would be dumped :) So i do know a lot of vegans that dumpster dive too, but they only come out with the plants.

Also i wouldn’t recommend it if you’re actually vegan or just consuming a plant based diet because you can get sick from eating dead body enzymes if you haven’t had them for awhile, throwing up and stuff like that :C

so amerikkkans paid to have their own data stolen

another banger

upvoting this because i assume it was good

Had to explain to the white man who failed upwards how to click a hyperlink in his email today. He is my bosses’ boss somehow. I CC’d my boss lol.

I’m on the last battle for the blue lions in FE3H (i already finished black eagle route), somehow my gigachad main character is getting 1 shotted, i guess i’ll actually have to apply strategy to this strategy game instead of using her to run to the boss and instakill everyone like i’ve been doing

transing my gender from York to New York