Gaywallet (they/it)

I’m gay

  • 217 Posts
  • 914 Comments
Joined 2 years ago
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Cake day: January 28th, 2022

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  • It sounds like you reached a conclusion you’re happy with but I did want to address a few things-

    What really just puzzles me is what you guys are saying about weapons. You are really telling me that if I am in the forest alone with a guy, that a knife or pistol with basic training doesn’t help me? Obviously I am here to learn, but what are you guys talking about? Statistics? Why can’t I just shoot the guy in the leg? It’s confusing!

    I brought up statistics because I think it’s important to mention. When researchers look at recorded violent interactions they are able to see certain patterns from which we can draw certain conclusions. It turns out that most violent interactions happen between two armed individuals. This implies that when one individual is armed and the other is not, that they feel a certain level of safety being armed and don’t often escalate to violence as often. We can also look at broad strokes for weapon ownership in places where you need a license to be armed - and we find that people who get a license to have a weapon are more likely to be injured in a violent altercation with someone else. In short, owning any weapon increases the likelihood that you get into a violent altercation with someone else. What I’m getting at here is that arming yourself might make you feel more safe, but it can also be a form of escalation in an altercation. Someone who might be responsive to you de-escalating with speech might not be responsive if you’re also pointing a weapon at them.

    I don’t say this to discourage you from owning a weapon, especially if you are a target. I’m trans too, so I fully understand being attacked and the desire to arm yourself. I think it’s important to think about what kind of weapon you are bringing, however, and how those weapons are perceived. If someone pulled a can of mace on me, for example, I’m going to approach that person much differently than if they pull a knife or a gun and I think that distinction is important when it comes to escalation. Non-lethal forms of self defense escalate less than those that are lethal and some non-lethal forms such as defensive sprays are really easy to use, have good range, and are easily concealed making them ideal self-defense weapons.

    isn’t the best defense a good offense? What’s the point of running if he runs after me? Isn’t it better to break his arm and then run?

    I think you are underestimating the risk of getting in to any physical altercation with someone. Even if you break his arm, that may not stop his pursuit and depending on how close you are to him when you break his arm, it’s possible he could incapacitate you in some way at the same time you break his arm. You causing physical damage to him may also cause him to respond spitefully towards you - the anger at you hurting him may bring him to injure you as a response to that, above and beyond the initial intent (or in the worst case scenario, inspire him to murder). Furthermore, in many situations he may not be acting alone and being good at getting away and drawing attention to yourself are much better ways to survive as social pressures and being seen doing illegal acts or pursuing others is usually a good incentive for them to not pursue. In general, violence should always be seen as a means of last resort, because that escalation almost always means an escalation in response, especially when we are talking about someone who already showed up with violent intent.




  • What’s your opinion on a lay person carrying a knife? What if they have basic training?

    Carrying any weapon increases the statistical likelihood that you will die to a weapon. Owning certain weapons increase the statistical likelihood that you die to that weapon. This is because if you bring a weapon to a fight, the other person often responds in kind and being armed when someone else is armed means tensions are higher and they are more likely to use deadly force. In the worse case scenario, you lose your weapon to someone else and get killed by it. Training will reduce the likelihood of being disarmed and increase your proficiency with any weapon, but what @TexMexBazooka@lemm.ee has been stating with regards to anyone being a deadly threat is extremely true- real confrontations don’t happen like they do in movies and even a highly trained individual can be killed by a complete novice.

    If you’re looking for a self defense weapon one of the best self defense weapons that exists is not deadly at all, but rather debilitating - mace/pepper spray. It requires no training to use, it can be activated very quickly, and it is very portable. Depending on where you live it is possible that it is illegal, in which case this is simply not an option, but in most countries in the world it is a legal form of self defense. In countries where it is illegal, there are usually other irritant sprays which you have access to which may not be as strong but will generally speaking do the same thing. Some sprays are also designed to be slippery in addition to irritants which can make holding weapons difficult.




  • Since I finished erdtree I jumped into DMC5. Combat feels so awkward in this game and it’s so clear the control schemes are from ages ago. It’s had me thinking about whether I want to just pick up another game on my list like BG3 or cyberpunk 2077 and finally play through it, or if I want to just start a new character or re-do the erdtree DLC (made a copy of my SL110 char before beginning DLC) so I can do all the new content properly. Still slowly working my way thru DMC5 but I’m like 7 missions in and while it’s getting better as I unlock skills it just doesn’t feel smooth.


  • Leaving this comment here and cleaning up some of this thread.

    You’re welcome to disagree with each other. Discussion is definitely encouraged. This thread of comments, however, rapidly devolved into name calling.

    It’s understandable that you’re upset with what this person is advocating when this election is so important and you disagree with their idea, but we can’t have a nice space when you attack anyone who disagrees with you. A three sentence long comment calling people delusional isn’t being nice. Hopping into this post and telling the poster to leave with their bullshit is not nice. You need to give others the benefit of the doubt and treat them with good faith.







  • Fantastic points, and I think that’s touched upon when the author talks about ‘brokenness’ towards the end. There’s systems that don’t work, and it’s not just issues of regulation that are needed to fix it. Much like progressives in the early 1900s had to radically rethink entire systems (new deal) we need similar ideas today to fix problems which are multifaceted and difficult. Affordable housing is infrastructure, unaffordable housing is not.




  • Just finished last boss of erdtree. That one needs some serious tuning- some of the moves are far too powerful and annoying. Unsure if I want to roll another character since it’s been so long since I played through the game. Spent some amount of hours in coop helping others after beating it since I don’t really have another game on deck right now. Missed out on a fair deal of DLC quests and storylines because I didn’t read everything before my first run through, I could reboot a save pre-DLC and respec into something completely different and then play through it instead of a fresh character I guess.




  • Investing a bunch of time into Erdtree. I think some of the bosses probably need a bit of tweaking, in particular Rellana seems to be a spot where lots of folks are struggling. I wonder if someone will figure out the Scaudtree fragment mitigation/dmg boost, but there’s definitely a lack of pre-Rellana fragments or just a general struggle with this boss based on how quickly you can get summoned and how quickly people seem to just straight up die when fighting this boss lmao. Took a lot of tries to down him the first time myself but I also haven’t touched this game since release and I played through it pretty quick.

    Tips for Rellana if you're struggling

    A lot of his attacks won’t drain a ton of stamina, bring a shield and start to learn his move set. In general rolling into him, especially to the right or left is useful for many attacks. Many of Rellana’s moves are also parryable, bring a shield with golden parry or carrian retaliation. Be sure you’re running a heavy fire and heavy magic reduction talisman.

    Two big points to watch for. When he enters second phase, the animation is good for a solid punish. If you punish him he’ll almost always do the flame pillar move, so punish and roll back a few times.

    When he jumps in the air with two blue orbs, get ready to jump 3 times or have a good shield and full stamina. You might want to run a bit away from him to make timing the jumps easier.




  • Anyone’s use of a label does not invalidate your label or mean you need to adopt a new one. Hating a label because it broadly overlaps with your label is gatekeeping labels. It’s okay, however, to hate people who try to force a label on you, because that behavior isn’t ever acceptable.

    In the bi community we are constantly having this discussion over bi vs. pan vs. poly vs. omni and the answer is and always has been “these all broadly overlap but the difference is important to some”. Use the label which you like, which you feel describes you, and if someone makes an assumption well that’s on them. If your definition of the label doesn’t align with the current societal definition, that’s okay too! These are all made up words to describe abstract definitions and they are socially defined, which means they aren’t precise- they are meant to capture broad areas of overlapping micro-identities. You can always use clarifying language to explain what the label means to you, or where you sit in the spectrum of the label when it’s important to a conversation.