I’m surprised they haven’t app-ified it. Bloody barbarians.

That boy ain’t right.

Our dude was running out of lettuce, and pleased to be caught.

How do you become a famous New Zealand athelete?

• Sit in the bath until your Dick Quax.

Put them on my bill.

Police should be staffed on a ballot system like juries. Wanting to be a cop (or politician) should be grounds for rejection. Everyone who is drawn does a mandatory two years. Sure there might need to be a skeleton permanent administrative staff, like Government, for continuity but the front of house folk should be ordinary people.