aw dawg i journalpost like a motherfucker i’ve already fallen well short of this shit lolol

So basically don’t fedpost? Or would you say it goes deeper than the obvious shit like that

Reality feels mid today. Just vaguely cranky vibes. Ready to go home :/

aaaaaaaah please stop dragging your feet on this written job offer and get me out of limbo i have fully checked out of this job but cannot yet give notice >:(

im asking this in good faith but should i care about chapo dot chat opsec particularly anymore if i’m involved with shit irl that puts me at way more risk? (not to overstate my involvement in any of that either i’m a pretty small cog rn). like obviously i’m not gonna post my name and address here or anything silly like that but rn my biggest concern would be my irl comrades seeing how cringe i can get on this account lmao. very possible i’m missing something though, open to hearing thoughts from ppl w/ stronger opinions.

the grind of full time wage labor is a big part of it. idk, the three scripts i finished really felt like vehicles for shit i genuinely and passionately wanted to say. subsequent attempts have felt a bit more like writing just to do it? or like i was repeating myself or something. idk. i have a project im kinda kicking around that’s sort of a love/friendship story/character study but also low key socialist propaganda, not sure why it hasn’t clicked for me yet as something to actively work on as much yet. part of it is just the sheer labor a longform work takes combined with working fulltime combined with other extracurricular shit i’ve been plugged into.

by not thinking that way, tbh. love who you are and remember that you’re assessing whether you like him as much as vice versa. you are a fucking stud deserving of love, just go in trying to have a cool ass fun time with a new person and let things progress as they are meant to. i’m sure he’s got a lot of good qualities that make you want to impress him, but remebmer that you do too

reading through my 2024 journal after having not written in it for a while (at least not counting journalposting here, huehhuehhueh). giving me some weird strong mixed emotions. the life of a sensitive boy, i guess. what can i say.

TY buddy!! i listened to pornography a few days ago and really liked it, listened to faith just before your post and liked it but not as much as the other two. i’ll check the rest out shortly!!

also i’m full of shit. i have been writing the last couple years, i just haven’t found a project that’s spoken to me enough to complete in that time. plus i’ve been iterating my existing material. that’s way different from having no drive/imagination.

my kneejerk negative inner voice is such a narcissistic self-centered woe is me little turd part of me i swear 2 god

starting to wonder if the consistent writing chapter of my life is over indefinitely, or for the foreseeable future. my motivation and imagination have really felt sapped for over two years, and yet i still miss it and feel a creative need not being fed. idk, i almost spoiler tagged this behind “self pitying bullshit.” but maybe accepting that it could be behind me could take some pressure off and i’ll find my way back to it through that lack of pressure. and hey, three feature scripts that i pretty much all like and feel proud of (this varies day by day ofc) - which are vastly different from each other in many ways while still showing a distinct, recurrent authorial voice & vision - is further than many with these silly ambitions get.

ey. gottem.

personal galaxy brain top 5 cure albums? (im trying to branch out beyond abrasive 2010s internet weirdo music)

that stinks comrade. some people just have different messaging patterns/phone glued-ness, it could be that? idk, i don’t know the specifics of your situation, but do you think they’d be receptive to it if you brought it up as a need that’s missing so you could find a compromise/balance that works for both of you?

since i started Doing Politics i have like 2-3 dozen new friendly acquaintances in the span of less than two months it kinda goes (would b nice if some of them evolved into full friends tho )

wait i’ve been painting my nails black for over a year now and no one told me how fucking hard disintegration by the cure goes? holy shit this album is goated

prezinald trumkt

presinald trunt