can confirm, especially the eating me alive part. plus i have controlling parents to the point where i have had to buy HRT illegally and am not even able to take it until the next parent-controlled blood test is done. luckily i wont have another one of those again since ill be turning 18 before that. also im kiiind of worrying about how i will hide how much money i spent on the HRT (which i had to do using shady gift-card-to-crypto exchanges because my bank accounts are monitored :| )
I do the same, and it is corroding me very significantly.