nathanfieldertulpa [she/her, it/its]
- 2 Posts
- 58 Comments
Joined 2 years ago
Cake day: July 25th, 2022
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11·24 days agoup with trans
dj sabrina the teenage dj not being in the i saw the tv glow soundtrack feels like a huge missed opportunity tbh
i’ve found that i’ve had to downsize a bit, yeah. a lot of us have shallow breasts and i think the site isn’t that good at finding a bra size for that breast type
(god gives her biggest tits to her most anxious boymoders)
abrathatfits has me in C/D range instead of B/C now
19·1 month agosometimes i still say avatar and i wonder if it clocks me as a boomer (millennial)
i just stayed calm and didn’t shake during my injection for the first time!!
i used to have major needle anxiety so the fact that ive gotten over it over the last year (i have another med that i need to inject) feels huge for me and its cool lil side effect of me having a better handle on my emotions now
yes. those rocks belong to outdoor cats
wishing the author of My Lesbian Experience with Loneliness a very GETO UT OF MY HEAD GET OUT OF MY HEAD GET OUT OF MY HEAD
some sad feelings around motherhood, rambling
ive been doing trauma release exercises and meditation recently and theyve brought up so much shit that ive been repressing. like i think i finally unlocked lesbian yearning and holy fuck i can barely handle it!!
ive never felt this full body loneliness before, its almost incapacitating. and ive also started to grieve the fact that i’ll never be a mother unless a lot of shit (physical health, finances, mental health) gets magically better over the next few years and it just sucks. it sucks a lot lol
im a very stupid chaos activist
my dad had to have surgery when i was 3 months into HRT (still boymoding) and when the surgeon came out to talk to me afterwards he thought i was 18 (i was in my late 20’s)
16·2 months agoobama but he’s a trot:
uhhh let me pamphleteer
i took seroquel 10 yrs ago and yeah that tracks, it would also knock me right out
15·2 months agocounterpoint: im an idiot and i dont wanna have to restart halfway into the story bc i made a doodoo character
trying to pass as a cis woman online by putting she/her/hers in my bio instead of just she/her
Now, the dysphoria more clearly is disassociation
god, it took me so long to realize this. in my case i think the neglect i went through growing up caused me to dissociate from anything that was uncomfortable, which is why it’s so hard for me to actually feel my dysphoria and why i didnt know in the same way that it feels like other trans people knew. so there’s definitely a correlation for me
i didnt really start hating it until i started going by my chosen name. which checks out compared to how ive felt about a ton of other gender things. like i didnt rly realize how much i hated my body hair until it was gone, or my voice until i realized that id subconsciously changed it to be more feminine. basically i just masked so hard that i forgot i was masking. i also have cptsd so that probably contributed to it
down with cis