For example, I’m a white Jewish guy but I’ve adopted the Japanese practice of keeping dedicated house slippers at the front door.

  • intensely_human
    35·
    1 year ago

    I think if you open your mind a little you may discover someone challenging your beliefs can be helpful to a conversation.

    That’s part of the culture I grew up in: arguing and challenging each other as part of talking. Feel free to try it out or adopt it.

    • Alien Surfer@lemmy.world
      3·
      1 year ago

      You know I understand you. That was the way with me too. It took me a long time into adulthood to tone that down as I wasn’t making friends and people seemed to think I was an asshole. It really sucked cause I seriously didn’t mean any harm or disrespect, but most took it that way for some reason.

      Now, after endless questioning of myself, I’ve learned to adapt to my audience.

      • intensely_human
        2·
        1 year ago

        I have a really hard time with it because it seems so non-spontaneous. What even is the point of discussing things without disagreement?

        I see these conversations that are just people agreeing with each other and I just don’t get it. I don’t want to be a part of it.

        But I don’t want to be alone.

        • Historical_General@lemmy.world
          22·
          1 year ago

          Err, I don’t see a point in disagreeing for the sake of it - I have a similar problem to you though. I get awkward or silent when I don’t have anything original, new or even interesting to say, like you are uncomfortable with ‘agreement’.

          • intensely_human
            1·
            1 year ago

            No I don’t disagree for the sake of it. Most conversations I agree with … but I don’t say it. It’s when I disagree genuinely, that I speak up.

    • Historical_General@lemmy.world
      22·
      1 year ago

      Persuasion works best when you work off commonalities rather than differences. Though I understand you’re trying to go for combative argumentation.

      • intensely_human
        2·
        1 year ago

        I know that. I’m a salesman. I don’t talk to my customers like I talk to people here, because when I’m talking to a customer my goal is persuasion.

        I am very suspect of persuasion as a motivation for conversing socially. I can do it to make money, but who am I to think that others accepting my ideas is more important than honesty? I might be wrong! If I follow the safe path that makes everybody like me, when will I ever know that I’m wrong?

        I’ve always been an outsider. Maybe I always will be, because this always nice stuff just seems slimy to me. It’s exactly how the villains in the cartoons I watched growing up behaved: everybody’s friend, always pleasant, saying the most popular thing.