I need to avoid competition for my mental health sake. It isn’t even fun I just can’t stand losing so any game that makes me lose will see me pouring countless hours to ‚win’ whatever that means.

It’s honestly like some kind of disability because once any small amount of competition is involved it ruins everything for me. Let’s say I enroll in drawing course. Someone there is better and now I can’t sleep because I need to win or something. It’s exhausting and like a prison of mind in a way.

It’s not that bad nowadays thankfully but like few years ago it was all such maddening race to who knows where instead of savouring the meaningful. Frankly it’s still the same but competition now is who is the wisest