• JovialMicrobial
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    22 days ago

    You did the right thing.

    Honestly, this weird dichotomy of “playing hard to get” and expecting the guy to make a move after being told no is in the process of dying, but it could go faster.

    I often wonder how much slut shaming has to do with women who expect/want this sort of behavior from men. Does it make them feel like they aren’t “responsible” for the sexual encounter if the guy is pushy, therefore they aren’t a slut?

    I’ve always wondered about it since I hated pushy dudes when I was still dating. My husband had excellent manners and etiquette, that’s what initially attracted me to him, so this one is a mystery.

    Maybe one day someone can figure it out and explain it to me.

    • shuzuko@midwest.social
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      22 days ago

      My husband and I met at a friend’s house and both ended up staying the night. The friend went up to his room, my husband set up the pull out couch for me to lay on… and then went to go sleep on the recliner. It was fucking adorable and I’m pretty sure that right there was the moment I decided he needed to be mine. I laughed at him and told him he needed to get his ass over to the bed because there was no way we weren’t going to at least cuddle after making eyes at each other for 6 hours straight, lol.

      Respect is fucking hot. I don’t understand guys who don’t get that, or women who don’t think the same way.

      • TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world
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        21 days ago

        I understand it. They think respect and consent is weak and pathetic. They want ‘strong’ people who violate others boundaries.

    • HelixDab2
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      21 days ago

      I often wonder how much slut shaming has to do with women who expect/want this sort of behavior from men.

      Honestly, probably a lot. Women are every bit as horny as men are in their late teens and 20s, but there’s a ton of social pressure on women to be both virgins and whores; not have sex, but be sexually desirable. (Meanwhile, men mostly get told that they’re supposed to be ready to go all the time.) The old Christmas song, “Baby It’s Cold Outside” relies on this whole trope; she wants to say yes, but she can’t just say yes; she needs to have some excuse. And he knows that, so he’s trying to give her the excuse she wants. But to our ears now it ends up sounding very rape-y.

    • TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world
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      21 days ago

      I often wonder how much slut shaming has to do with women who expect/want this sort of behavior from men. Does it make them feel like they aren’t “responsible” for the sexual encounter if the guy is pushy, therefore they aren’t a slut?

      this is 99% of it. It’s about plausible deniability if things don’t go well. it’s all about pushing all the responsibility onto the man.

      When have you ever met a woman admit to being bad at sex?