To be fair I still do these things but only when I’m alone.
Personally I love finding big puddles and then dig drains with a stick or my heel and watch the water flow.
Also love to throw a piece of wood into water and then toss stones high up in the air and try hit it imagining it’s a warship I’m trying to bomb.
Then also without going into details there are some pieces of clothing I would like to wear but don’t because they’re considered femine or gay.
Where do I start with this one? I have so much to circumventing I would have to do if I want to be myself, and that’s not really anyone’s fault either (so nothing with a solution). The last thing you mentioned is a fairly good example, I’m locked in certain aesthetics. I can’t unpack myself in someone’s presence much of the time. I can’t communicate without fear of messing up. I can’t hypothetically hone certain things I arguably should’ve honed. I could list these things. I do try going against this pattern and only a few things worked out.
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Thanks, bot friend.