I have some friends that go to visit their friends in Mexico from the US very frequently. When they come back in town we meet up to eat. But the entire meal they talk about their experiences and friends there. Usually I only get a couple of words in and then it is back to their plans. I am trying to live in the present and enjoy my life experiences and my life here at home. But they never ask anything and although they are nice people, I feel exhausted and defeated after we get together. Is it time to limit my friendship with them?

  • intensely_human
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    5 months ago

    Never start with cutting people off. First off, you need to tell them what you’re seeing and feeling. Don’t throw a friendship away before doing that.

    I will say that it’s pretty normal for two friends talking about one friend’s trip to spend most of the conversation on that trip.

    But they really should be making an effort to turn it back around and ask about you.

    Tell them first. Tell them you’d like to feel more reciprocal interest, and they can show it by making space for your story in the conversation.

    It’s awkward to discuss such things; ideally it just works. But we’re far beyond the point where human socializing will “just work”. It’s better to have a friendship with moments of awkwardness than no friendship at all.

    So tell them, and fix it together, and keep your friendship.