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I finally was set free from an emotionally abusive relationship. She broke up with me and I finally had the courage to not chase after her.
But she’s visibly upset. And I’m afraid of what she’ll do to herself. But at the same time, I wanna start looking after myself and start my healing. But I feel guilty for letting her be. While here I am reconnecting with my friends.
What do I do?
better to check with your close friends, maganda rin may update sila about you and how you are feeling
I think if there’s any circumstance that the three-month rule should apply, it’s this.
GIve your time to heal, to process. Pag mejo okay na, then siguro okay nang kausapin siya. But take care of yourself first. Besides, she’s the one who broke up with you.
New development lang. She’s saying she’s going to commit suicide before blocking me entirely from all her socials. Goes without saying I’m really panicking. What I did is I contacted her close friend. Sabi naman nila pupuntahan daw nila ngayon pero wala pa ko update. I really feel bad. She was indeed the one who broke up with me but the way she spins the story e ako daw yung nang abandon. And the scary part is I think she also believes that imagined scenario. Sobrang fucked up na din talaga. I’m at a loss kasi what if she went through with it? I won’t be able to bear the guilt and baka sumunod nalang din ako bigla.
Naniniwala ako sa kasabihang, “if we knew better, we could have done better.”
Ginawa mo lang ang alam mong tama base sa kaunting alam mo. Sapat man yun o hindi, minsan wala na tayo magagawa para mabago ang sitwasyon kundi patawarin ang ating mga sarili at iwasan na lang maulit muli yung mga mali.
Kung galing ka sa isang abusive relationship, mahirap maging mabait sa sarili. Sana matutunan mong mahalin at magpatawad ng sarili para di maulit muli yung mga mali.
Tagos na tagos sakin tong sinabi mo na 'to. Recently kasi I’ve been questioning myself baka nga talagang di ko nahandle nang maayos yung relationship. Baka ako talaga yung dahilan why it became chaotic. Pero kung aalisin ko kasi yung acquired knowledge ko ngayon after everything that happened, I think I really just did what I thought was right during those times. I’m slowly coming into terms with it. Kaso the threat of her, committing suicide is becoming a huge roadblock para makapagstart na sana ko magfocus on my own healing. Why is the world so cruel? Antagal ko bago makakuha ng courage to not chase after her tapos biglang may suicide threats naman sa huli. Ang gulo rin kasi she keeps saying na she’s not trying to get me back. Pero at the same time she’s saying na ginagawa nya yun kasi she feels she has no one else already. And that wala naman daw kasing sasagip sa kanya. And that desidido na daw sya. Hirap neto sobra.
Natatakot sya na hindi nya makakayayanan yung loneliness at helplessness. Natatakot ka naman na hindi mo makakayanan yung guilt, tama ba?
Sana dumating yung araw na marealize nyo na kaya nyo pala separately. Mukhang malabo lang siguro sa ngayon with the limited info and skills we have. Hopefully , eventually, we’ll learn how to cope if we keep trying.
Di ba pwedeng i-report mo yan sa authorities? Discreetly if possible. Show receipts.
I’ve got a feeling she’s doing everything she can to either get your attention, or failing that, paint you as a villain.
Better take care of yourself first, and far better from taking my advice as an internet stranger. Find someone who can better help you (a professional or whatever.
I wish you all the best. Kaya mo yan. Kakayanin.
Let go completely, or else the cycle will just repeat itself