To most ordinary people, the sneering visage of Rep. Jim Jordan, R-Ohio, brings many words to mind: “Jackass.” “Bully.” “Sexual abuse apologist.” “Clownshow.”
But when it comes to those who have backed his run for Speaker of the House, the MAGA mind seizes upon their alleged Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.
“If Jim Jordan can’t get through, Jesus can’t,” Rep. Ryan Zinke, R-Mont. told Fox News on Tuesday. Zinke loves comparing the former assistant wrestling coach at Ohio State to the Prince of Peace. He used the same line with Newsmax.
Similarly, Rep. Mark Alford, R-Mo., told reporters last week, “You could put Jesus Christ up for speaker of the House and he still wouldn’t get 217.” Inevitably, this mentality led prayer chatter to fuse with the unintentionally campy cheerleading from Jordan supporters.
Well, Duh, Jesus was a socialist Jew, and the last I checked that party only has 212 votes.
Besides, Jesus would make a shitty Speaker. All that “turn the other cheek” wokeness would turn the Freedom Causus against him faster than you could say “Pontious Pilate”.
What about “Biggus Dickus”?
Tee hee hee
Plus, if we ditch only looking at canonical representations and open the door to extra-canonical, you have him saying things like this:
Or this:
Most of the things attributed to Jesus couldn’t even make the cut at Nicaea, let alone modern Washington DC and the prude squad.