Yes I know the order is a bit messed up, the league refused to stop for a weekend to keep it accurate while I was writing the rest Part 1 Part 2
I can’t think of a witty intro so look at this funny picture of Diego Llorente to get in the mood
## 10. SS Lazio
SS stands for Società Sportiva despite what some of their ultras’ lettering would have you think
The oldest and smallest club in Rome, Lazio is one of the most iconic clubs in the league, be it for their insanely good late 90s squad or their incredibly scuffed league winning team from the 70s, their fierce rivalry with Roma, or their slightly right-wing fanbase. Regardless, Lazio is a side that gravitates towards european spots, with a culture of somewhat attractive football and a mix of cheap gems and seasoned veterans.
After the heights of the Cragnotti ownership and the woes of the transition to the Lotito era, Lazio went from bankrupt to midtable to cup winner and eventually started a fairly successful cycle in the mid 2010s which saw them win a few cups, mount a challenge for the title in 2019/20 under Inzaghi and more recently a return to the Champions League with a distant 2nd place last season off the back of a very convincing season by centre backs Casale and Romagnoli and GK Provedel.Maurizio Sarri of Chelsea and Napoli fame has a huge challenge ahead of him in his third season: Lazio changed their sporting director after 15 years and lost their best player Milinkovic-Savic to Saudi side Al-Hilal while the age of recordman Immobile, midfield bulwark Cataldi and creative wingers Felipe Anderson and Pedro is finally catching up to them.A slow start to the season and the midfield’s woes make another 2nd place look like a pipe dream but 4th place is only 4 points away after a 0-0 draw in today’s derby.
Player to watch: Luis Alberto, Lazio’s magician, a mezzala with a wand of a foot who’s been the heart of the biancocelesti’s buildup for the last few years. With Milinkovic-Savic gone, his lack of physicality is being exploited more often but the spaniard has so much to his game that Sarri has restructured his midfield plans to enable the former Liverpool man rather than benching him, in a season where even Lazio legend Immobile isn’t safe from being rotated.
## 9. AC Monza
I’m sure the sword is a reference to something but it’s cool even without context
Winners of the 21/22 Serie B playoffs, Monza is playing its 2nd Serie A season ever and the biancorossi look like they’re here to stay after a shocking 11th place in their 1st season after promotion. There is a huge caveat to this though: Monza was bought in 2018 by none other than former Italian PM and builder of AC Milan’s dynasty Silvio Berlusconi and his trusted condor Galliani. With this financial might and talent at the helm, Monza went on an absolute spree over the past two seasons and so far, the results (after a short disastrous stint under Stroppa) of Palladino’s men speak for themselves: Monza is a solid midtable team with a ton of young talent, a passionate fanbase and a points average that has them sitting right outside of the european spots. After a rough summer where they lost some of their better players and their owner Berlusconi, pundits and fans had Monza slipping towards the lower end of the midtable but so far they’ve managed to improve on last season. 7th place looks impossible…unless?
Player to watch: Andrea Colpani, who started this season with a bang, 6 goals and an assist in the first 12 as Monza’s AM are insane numbers for the former Atalanta man, good enough for a NT call up by Luciano Spalletti even. Having seamlessly taken over from the injured Caprari, Colpani is having his best season yet and is carrying Monza’s attack on his back, long may it continue. Goalkeeper Di Gregorio and cb Carboni are both worth mentioning here, don’t be surprised if they pop up at a bigger club in a few years.
## 8. Bologna FC
Hailing from your Erasmus friends’ favorite Italian city, Bologna is another fallen Serie A giant with 7 league titles to their name. A staple of the midtable, the Felsinei enjoyed a decent run of form in the past few years, carried by their intensity and youth under manager Sinisa Mihajlovic, who was “sacked” as his battle against cancer worsened, leading to his passing during last season’s WC break. Heartbroken but under the management of former midfield maestro Thiago Motta, Bologna turned around their shaky early season form and achieved a solid 9th place, right at the heels of Fiorentina, and are one of the most in-form squads of 2023. The momentum has carried into the new season just fine, with Motta’s men sitting 3 points short of 4th, right at the upper echelons of the league. 8th place won’t be good enough for a UECL berth next season unless Juve figures out another way to spend the season in court, but with the way they’re playing, a shocking return to Europe might be in the books
Player to watch: Joshua Zirkzee and his skills and first touch, Zirkzee is the type of striker that tends to resonate with most of us football hipsters no matter the results. After Arnautovic’s departure for Inter’s medical center, pundits and fantasy football experts were worried about the hole left by the austrian but the former Bayern player seems to have figured out how to score just fine and has already doubled last season’s tally. I don’t know if he’ll ever score more than 15 but if he does, make sure you won’t miss it.
## 7. AS Roma
The greatest team in the world Rome’s club, Roma was founded in 1927 under the orders of a bald fraud to give the capital a team that could fight with the northern giants, which it has been consistently trying to do for the better part of a hundred years with mixed results.With the most recent league title in 2001 and a 14 year long trophy drought ended by the victory of the inaugural Conference League, the giallorossi have spent the past 5 years more or less licking the wounds inflicted by the deadly combination of owner Pallotta and DoF Monchi after the historic CL run that fell one handball short of a 7-1 humiliation at the hands of Real Madrid in the final.
Since July 2021, none other than Jose Mourinho has been at the helm of the club and while the results in the league have been suboptimal to say the least, winning a european title, painfully losing the EL final in the following season and an influx of higher caliber players like Lukaku and Dybala have put a lot of eyes on the club, the team then promptly started this season in shocking form though the ship seems steady right now.
Mourinho’s contract is up in June, 4th place is 3 points away and with Napoli looking so shaky, Roma might make a return to the CL after 5 years, but with how chaotic the club tends to be, relegation is just as likely.
Player(s) to watch: Diego Llorente and Edoardo Bove. Jokes aside, it has to be the attacking duo of Paulo Dybala and Romelu Lukaku, the former Juventus man landed in the capital as a hero and a free agent last season, delivering on the hype when fit while the Belgian striker flew a bit too close to the sun with Inter and Juve only to end up reuniting with Mourinho on a loan at Roma to replace the injured Tammy Abraham. While Dybala hasn’t really performed past his injury woes at the start of the season, Lukaku has already scored 9 in all comps despite joining at the end of August. Roma might not score a lot but when they do, it’s one of these two.
## ACF Fiorentina
La Viola is yet another Serie A giant you might already be familiar with, and if not, you might now Firenze, the city they play in. What they don’t have in titles, they make up in passion from their fanbase and history, though there is something I haven’t mentioned yet: the tuscan team has been on a great run of form for the past two seasons after almost facing relegation. Under bald fraud Vincenzo Italiano, they returned to Europe ending Atalanta’s streak of European finishes and made it to the final of the 2nd edition of the Conference League while also making it to the Coppa Italia final (they lost both) and achieving qualification to this season’s Conference League from 8th place thanks to Agnelli’s creative interpretation of finance. After a very shrewd summer mercato which saw them replace both strikers, Brighton’s next overpriced CB Igor and Ten Hag’s latest “I know this guy” DM Amrabat for cheap, Italiano’s men have been steadily picking up easy points that, coupled with a shocking win against reigning champions Napoli, have them tied for 5th and at the edge of the CL spots. With Italiano potentially leaving in June and shaky competitors, this seems like the perfect chance to return to the EL after years of absence.
Player to watch: Giacomo Bonaventura, whose current form shows that age is just a number (don’t tell Benzema) and that class is permanent or at least it stays long enough to earn another shot at a spot in the NT at 34 after years of absence. 5 goals and 2 assists, all of which are bangers, great technique and an endearing story. Don’t sleep on him
5 to go, see you tomorrow (???)
We’re already great defensively too but our forwards seem to have forgotten how to score