A pretty common saying, and I guess it makes sense from the outside. But what does that mean if I’m that person? Like what am I supposed to do if I’m just completely unable to “help myself”?

It’s a good way to excuse yourself for not being able to help someone that needs help, but that person doesn’t stop existing when you say that. Something has to happen with them. What is that something?

(Note: I’m not in a crisis or anything at the moment. I’m not going to do something like hurt myself any time soon. It’s just a general observation about that statement combined with my general lack of ability to help myself or even ask for help.)

  • tacosanonymousEnglish
    3·
    11 months ago

    It just means that expending resources, physical or emotional, on someone that won’t appreciate or use them isn’t worthwhile. Just a really generic risk vs reward view of engaging with people with mental illness.

    This usually doesn’t count for a support group. Obviously people that love or depend on you will keep trying.

    Even if you can’t do the work right now, communicating that you want to get better but can’t take the steps atm might keep people from completely abandoning you.

    Still, asking for help or making the tiniest of steps in the right direction are reasonable goals.

  • FourteenEyes [he/him]@hexbear.netEnglish
    2·
    11 months ago

    “You can lead a horse to water but not make it drink”

    The water is mental health treatment

    The only person who can actually fix a person’s thinking is themselves, they ultimately have to make the painful choice to change

    • edge [he/him]@hexbear.netOPEnglish
      2·
      11 months ago

      Those are just restatements of the title. My question is what if I just can’t do that? What am I supposed to do? Because I can only think of one option (like I said, not planning on it anytime soon though).

      And it’s not about not wanting to or not making a choice, I’m talking about if I literally cannot do it.

      • FourteenEyes [he/him]@hexbear.netEnglish
        2·
        11 months ago

        Are you in therapy? That would be the helping yourself, seeking professional assistance. It sounds like you might also be confused on what, exactly, you need help with, which to me means you need to talk to someone about what’s bothering you, explore your feelings, or at least write all this down in a journal for your own personal reflection. You’re not being very specific on what you think you need help with.