Sadiq Khan wants Londoners to step in and say ‘maaate’ to pals when they are sexist to women
21 July 2023, 09:33 | Updated: 21 July 2023, 09:41 Sadiq Khan was joined by Romesh Ranganathan to launch the campaign
By Will Taylor
Sadiq Khan has launched a new campaign telling men and boys to say the word “maaate” to each other when their friends are sexist and misogynistic.
The mayor of London wants them to step in when they see pals use language or behave in a way with women and girls that “crosses the line”.
His office specifically spelt the word “maaate” in material promoting the initiative which is backed by comedian Romesh Ranganathan.
Mr Khan said: "‘Maaate’ is a simple and effective intervention that can help stop problematic language and behaviour in its tracks.
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"Last year I urged men and boys to challenge sexist behaviour and misogynistic attitudes with my award-winning ‘Have A Word’ campaign. Now, we’re giving them the word to say.
“It is only by ensuring that women and girls are both protected and respected that we can continue to build a better, safer London for everyone.”
Say Maaate to a Mate | Romesh Ranganathan and Sadiq Khan in conversation
Ranganathan said: "I’m backing this campaign because we can no longer allow sexism and misogyny to be dismissed as ‘banter.’
"By asking men and boys to say ‘maaate’ to a mate we can be better friends to each other and better allies to women and girls.
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“As men, we have a responsibility to work together to stop sexist and misogynistic behaviour. Whether it’s in the classroom, the boardroom or onstage, everyone deserves to be treated with respect.”
The decision to use “maaate” came after Mr Khan teamed up with what was described as “world-leading behavioural scientists”.
Research shows two in three men want to intervene when they hear misogynistic language being used but don’t know what to say, the mayor’s office explained.
One in four male Londoners aged between 19 and 34 said they regretted not calling out a friend or relative over misogyny.
Shaming friends was deemed to be a worse way of dealing with it than challenging the behaviour respectfully.
Previously, Mr Khan called on men to “have a word” with themselves and friends to tackle violence against women.
Realistic advice, I like it. Makes me think of the ridiculous sort of advice you see on Reddit that nobody would ever say. “John, I respect you as a friend but your attitude towards women is misogynistic and unacceptable. I know you are better than this and you can improve your behaviour”. Fucking nerds roleplaying on the internet.
I had a friend who kept saying f****t. I don’t think he had anything against gays, he just carried on with the early 2000s usage of the word. I would say “Oi! No F bombs!” And he’d apologise. After a couple I’d just say “oi”. It worked eventually, no need for a big intervention or a serious sitdown. Just “Oi”.
I was driving into a site once, and going up the track I didn’t think and forgot to slow down enough. I wasn’t going crazy fast, but still clearly too fast. When I got to the cabins someone came up to me and said:
“Excuse me mate, can you do me a favour?” “Uh yeah, sure, what?” “Take it easy driving on the track.”
I thought that was a really good way of going about it. The first question completely disarms them, then the second part is simple and reasonable, but not some kind of patronising lecture.
How would you had reacted had they said, “Maaaaaaaaaaaate” and gesticulated at your vehicle and the road then at your vehicle and then the road again?
I would have probably been confused and just replied “Maaaaaate”, like in those old “Whassaaaap” adverts, while not knowing what was going on.
However there’s a difference between coming up to someone, gently starting a conversation to air a grievance, and interjecting briefly in the middle of a conversation to gently point out that what was said was inappropriate. The two techniques are a little different, but in their intended situations both work to disarm the person and get them to think about their actions, rather than the person asking about them.
I need to be better at that sort of thing. I hear some pretty bad stuff in my place of work but I’ll usually shy away from saying anything, or at best I’ll stumble over a ‘dude you can’t say that’.
That’s the well-thought out point of this campaign.
It is hard to speak up, especially when everyone who might agree with you is also staying quiet for fear of becoming a target for attack.
But it’s so important that you do speak up when you can (and I do appreciate that sometimes it does not feel safe to do so). These men are not trying to impress women, they’re trying to impress other men. Some of them are too far gone and will always be pricks. But some of them are just trying to work out how to be a man and aping the loudest examples. Gently nudging them in the right direction helps isolate those who never will grow up, and denies them the tacit approval that normalises and encourages these behaviours.
It’s worth noting that these insecure men trying to prove how very manly they are, honest, are responsible for a great deal of violence towards other men. Calling them out isn’t some kind of selfless ‘good guy’ act. Changing the atmosphere makes life better for everyone.
Good mates don’t let mates be assholes.