• queermunist she/her@lemmy.ml
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    6 months ago

    It’s so hard to imagine it from the inside. I got so used to feeling like an ugly freak that I couldn’t imagine it ever being different.

    • Cromalin [she/her]@hexbear.netOPM
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      6 months ago

      meow-hug

      i completely get that, i used to feel the same way. i know me saying this doesn’t change your situation at all, but i felt like that for years, including well into my transition, until one day i just didn’t anymore. and that feeling comes back sometimes, but mostly it’s like a flip was switched and now i like my own body and the way i inhabit it and the world. i hope one day the same happens to you, and to everyone who feels that way

      • queermunist she/her@lemmy.ml
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        6 months ago

        Oh! 🤗 I didn’t mean to sound like I still feel that way - a year or so into my transition I realized I didn’t hate myself anymore. A switch being flipped is a good description, or like a bolt of lightning. Just: “Oh! Huh.”

        But before I started I absolutely couldn’t imagine it. I just knew I couldn’t keep going the way I had been before, I had no idea I could be happy!

  • Zymi [she/her]@hexbear.net
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    6 months ago

    It can take a long time to realize this.

    I’ve been on HRT for about 2.5 years now, and I was looking through my old photos both before and after transition.

    I was shocked that I thought I was an ugly duckling phase I looked so much more happy and vibrant than my pre transition photos, and how little the things I hyperfocused on mattered. And indeed it turns out I look better when I care about how I look and I’m comfortable in my skin.

    Seems obvious now but it’s really easy to get down on one’s self.

    • Cromalin [she/her]@hexbear.netOPM
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      6 months ago

      yeah, even just a few months in i looked so much better, so much happier than i ever had before. i didn’t realize it at the time, but i did