My partner asked me in a text if we were romantically involved but we haven’t necessarily spoken about what we are yet. They’ve asked me multiple times if I liked them and I’ve asked the same thing but it was the first time they mentioned romance.
I think I want to know more about what romantically involved means, does it mean “relationship” or is it just we make love but aren’t into commitment. I was too scared to ask them the last time I saw them what we were because I didn’t feel the time was right and I’m too nervous.
Those are the words of someone who wants a more intimate relationship, not of someone who wants to maintain the existing status quo and doesn’t want the other person to get closer. Who cares about true love/affection distinction and why does it matter when it comes to defining your relationship. You two probably want to call each other boyfriend/girlfriend/significant other and make it “official”. Do so with a proper ambush.
Also this varies from person to person, but love is something I develop after getting into a relationship, not before.
He introduced me as his partner once and I’ve wanted to bring that up but never did
If the feeling’s mutual, you might as well do it. It’s risk-free. Just sit down and ask “I like you. Do you want to be my boyfriend?”
They’re already in a poly relationship so where do I fit in exactly
It would’ve been helpful to mention that in the initial post. This is outside of my paygrade now since I don’t have any experience with it. Hopefully someone here does though.
You should ask them that question, not lemmy.
Be direct. Be honest.
Only the person you’re seeing can answer that question.
Poly requires lots and lots of communication. So, it follows that most folk who are into that won’t mind lots of questions and long discussions. Next time you see him, I’d suggest a long talk getting right down into the nuts and bolts if the situation.
And, importantly, it’d be a good idea to examine how you feel about this arrangement. Poly isn’t for everyone; no shame if it’s not for you. Being honest with yourself early on could avoid some pain later.