I may just be yelling at clouds here, but it seems to me like Discord is just IRC with pictures added. Or Skype with text added. Whatever analogy it is, what it isn’t is a suitable replacement for a threaded forum like Reddit / Lemmy. Or you know… proper old-school forums like phpbb and invision and what not.

If you’re a gamer and you want to talk some shit and type some shit and maybe share a funny meme (pronounced “me me” I believe) with your mates then Discord is great. But for a group of people who don’t know each other randomly dropping in over the course of days and weeks to throw their 2 cents in about a topic? Utterly terrible. The conversation is current. If it happened more than 8 minutes ago it’s old news. If you want to reference something its searching a wall of text full of inane chatter. And there’s always some dickhead who thinks they need to reply to every single person commentating so its just a wall of their platitudes (lol! i like that! XD so random! Zxy likes this! Thanks for the update! Hey bby asl?).

Why are people constantly pushing to move communities to Discord? I see /r/Brisbane is trying to shuffle people there but ffs it’s a chat room. Its MSN. Its AOL chat rooms. Its middle aged men chatting up 16/f/cali who are also middle aged men. Its a permanent stream of lightweight small talk that is like standing in a perpetual supermarket checkout line except you don’t even get anything at the end. It makes me so mad I want to steal candy from a baby and take a dump in a policemans hat.

I use Discord for work cause I have a “Discord Bot” (its a bit of script and an API m8, lets not oversell the damn thing) which sends a message when people are ringing my office with their name / phone number / contact info and a bit of info about them to remind me who the heck it is. It’s great for that cause I get a real time heads up that Jenny from accounts is chasing my TPS report again or whatever and I can ignore the call. Or its my Uber Eats driver out front with my kebab and I need to hurry up and disconnect from my pesky customer to I can give old mate the nod to bring me my large mixed with tabouli.

But you know what its not great for? Replying to a news article from a couple of days back with an update. Or adding some helpful extra information to someone answer to a query so future internetters will find it and not go on a wild goose chase like you did. Or adding your own hot take to a conversation that happened a few hours ago while you were at work and didn’t get to interact with at the time but now you’re on lunch eating a mixed kebab with tabouli and you want to throw your comment on top but TOO BAD loser, Zxy has commented 600 times since then and it’s now 84 pages of scrolling back past stupid GIFs and bad me-mes and “hey bbys” from the thirstybois.

I forget why I started this now, but mostly I just wanted to rant about Discord being terrible for everything except the things IRC was good for and also pose the query: How to generate more local content? I can scroll Lemmy in general and see heaps of content… But I want my BNE me-mes. I want to know who’s stuck under a bridge now, or why the trains are stopped, or to see some bad rental advice, or see another sweet Ibis photo (no seriously I do love those), or to hear someone lie about how the northside is better than the southside.

I will try and be the change I wish to see in the world too but I am but one man. Just one handsome, charismatic, charming, and humble man who only has so many hours in the day.

(PS - I stole this photo from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TsDvyKdikPc, but I haven’t watched it yet to know if its any good. It was just one of the first results for an image search of discord sucking and I CBF opening photoshop to make my own).