I have a selection of social anxieties. Many of them revolve around me being let down so many times by people or groups I thought I belonged in. Any time I find some cool group, this feeling creeps up, letting me know “aw shit, here we go again”. I’m sure the failures are a self fulfilling prophecy at this point. I suppose the solution would be to ignore all the warning signs and get used to people being genuinely nice (and then walking into the minefield as I ignore the warning signs. And the purgatory restarts).