I know that it has significant meaning to me but I struggle putting it into words to explain it to other people (especially other dya cis people). So like a few years ago I was thinking about if I may be trans femme. I have since realised that no, actually I was just struggling with it for a while because I don’t relate to the gender roles and expectations society puts on men. I now identify more strongly with being a man than ever before, and I love being a man in a gender-way. I just absolutely hate being a man in a “what role men have in society”-way.
I had gone through the same self examination when I was younger, wondering about my sexuality and gender identity. I didn’t really identify strongly with being a “man”, and valued some of the more “feminine” traits I had. In the end, though, I found a peace in just being who I am. I still identify as a “man” and just embraced both the traits that reinforce that as well as break from the common mold. In the end, I came away from it finding gender kind of silly overall. I have no issues with individuals identifying themselves in any particular way, but don’t really understand the need for gender at all in the larger scale of society.
My experience was similar, gender felt like an external expectation, mostly a limiting one, growing up as a girl. I didn’t really internalize it besides accepting that it shapes how strangers receive and respond to me just like being short or ugly does.
That was my experience as a boy and now a man. It isn’t inherently a negative thing because it is shorthand for expectations, but it becomes absolutely horrible when people try to force it on others instead of acknowledging that gender roles are generalizations and not written in stone.
Agreed. I identify as a man but have almost no attachment to that gender. The most I think about my gender is to double check the sign on the restroom. This is probably a lot of privilege though.
Gender and gender roles continue exist in our society because they have for a long time and too many people find it threatening to challenge it. For some reason they see it as an attack on their gender, as if any of us care what they call they call themselves.
We have to highlight it because our politicians are literally criminalizing expressing yourself in terms they don’t personally identify as and find vaguely threatening.
Rephrasing, I understand why it still exists in that sense, but don’t understand the viewpoint of the people that are threatened by challenging it, necessitating it’s role in society.
That’s not something I fault them for, it’s just something I don’t share an experience with.