My parents raised me to always say “yes sir” and “no ma’am”, and I automatically say it to service workers and just about anyone with whom I’m not close that I interact with. I noticed recently that I had misgendered a cashier when saying something like “no thank you, ma’am” based on their appearing AFAB, but on a future visit to the store they had added their pronouns (they) to their name tag. I would feel bad if their interaction with me was something they will remember when feeling down. This particular person has a fairly androgynous haircut/look and wears a store uniform, so there’s no gender clue there.
I am thinking I need to just stop saying “sir” and “ma’am” altogether, but I like the politeness and I don’t know how I would replace it in a gender-neutral way. Is there anything better than just dropping it entirely?
For background I’m a millennial and more than happy to use people’s correct pronouns if I know them!
Actually if you read it, it doesn’t say that. Sir and m’am are British carryovers, simply expressing politeness, not servitude. Although slaves may have used something similar, they by far were not the only ones. It is a custom still used today in what is considered polite society and should infer no offence. It is used as a common courtesy. It is best to drop it though outside of the south as it is seriously misconstrued. Language is fun.