It’s definitely hard to miss all the people where I live pulling out of driveways in dresses and people taking pictures across all the public areas, it really lets you know it’s prom time.
What’s your experience with prom (or multiple proms if you went to others too)? How did everyone look? How was it celebrated? Was it good?
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Mine when I was in school was entirely forgettable. But! I married a teacher, and until the pandemic we chaperoned prom almost every year. And that was reliably awesome. We may get back to it eventually. The kids are always proud of their outfits, and it’s a small, rural school, so even though there are cliques, it’s still mostly an everybody-in-it-together atmosphere. We’ve never really been party types, but getting to dance with my wife at prom every year is something I miss.
That’s amazing! Does that mean that each year you two would get free entry?
Yes–although the ticket prices for her school have always been reasonable, so it’s not as big a perk as it would be in some places. The free meals, however, have reliably been incredible and well worth the headache of chaperoning.
We’ve been very fortunate to have never had any “incidents”–most of the kids appeae willing to save their drinking and debauchery for after prom–but it’s always a real worry that the next morning we’ll read about one of her kids drunk driving his car into a tree.
As someone who lives somewhere where the drinking age is 21, I often forget this is a thing.
I didn’t go, I didn’t see the point in it. People always ask if I regret not going: not even a little bit. I don’t like dancing and thought the entire idea of it dumb to begin with. Also, I’d rather not go broke over one night like that. I did have a few friends go and they said they had fun, good for them. It’s just not my thing.
I don’t blame you. I didn’t not enjoy the ones I went to (one for my best friends, one for their friends, one that was mine, and one technical prom attendance in the new area I’m in), but I wouldn’t have missed them if I didn’t go. I even virtually got kicked out of my own because I didn’t have a prom date and went with my brother, and I guess that rubbed people the wrong way. It’s just one of those “I did it to say I did it” things.
As a socially anxious loner, I didn’t go to prom. Didn’t end up feeling much like I was missing out either. I had been to a few school dances in the past and they always made me very uncomfortable and I didn’t find them fun. I didn’t like how much of a big deal they were made out to be. The one time I had fun around a school dance was when I was hanging out with some people either beforehand or afterwards (can’t remember which) and that part of it was fun. The dance itself wasn’t.
In a way, you weren’t missing out. Where I live, children (myself included when I was younger) have an odd tradition of going to everyone’s proms except sometimes our own (or including our own). They vary a lot but it’s like you have to really look to find the fun ones. And I’m guessing very few people enjoy the dance part because only a quarter of the people (does not include me) actually know how to dance. A common joke during the dance part is to say “I forgot to study for this”.
I hate to add to the negative responses here, but this was my experience. Due to really bad gender dysphoria, I felt I could not go, because I feel like breaking down every time I wear a suit. I skipped it altogether due to the quite restrictive (cis-normative) dress code. Going as a man with a woman would make me really sad. I went to quite a few parties after with cool people, though, and those were really fun, so I guess that’s what counts.
It’s alright, we understand, and I can actually relate to that. I wasn’t very liked, so I ended up choosing my older brother (who himself is trans, female to male) as my prom companion since nobody in my class would go. I was happy at the idea of it being special for him, but we only got heckled because we were siblings (complicated by the fact I was a year older than the norm, being 18 instead of 17, which would’ve removed a negative connotation of going with an older brother over the age of 18 but would’ve made me a year older numerically than most prom-goers) combined with his status as someone who is trans. What was supposed to be fun ended up being cut short and we went home.
I bet it was still important as a gesture of solidarity, and it’s also valid to go home if it’s not worthwhile. Supportive people really inspire hope in me, and I think it’s that way for a lot of other trans people, too :)
I volunteer for a nonprofit whose mission is trans empowerment. One of the things they do is host an inclusive prom for all the folks who shared your feelings on the matter. It is a really beautiful experience to witness.
That’s wonderful! <3
Eh, less fun than a regular dance. Too much money and time spent on pageantry.
Did the prom itself cost money, or do you mean the preparations? I’ve heard mixed stories about the proms themselves costing lots of money to attend.
The tickets were $75 each, and this was two decades ago.
Then getting the clothes, the flowers, some people rent transportation.
Back in highschool there was junior prom and senior prom. They made us pay like $300 a head to attend. I used to get bullied a lot for being goth and latina. You could not pay me enough to listen to shitty music around people I disliked, so I didn’t attend.
We only ever had senior prom here. I’m wondering if it’s a public school thing to overcharge because all the proms I’ve been to were non-public school ones (including my own, never went to public school) and it was priced no differently than a restaurant would be, the biggest of our hurdles were getting the clothes (and in my case not being heckled due to choosing my brother as my prom go-to).
Fuck prom. I lost it at prom my junior year because I was managing the logistics and social momentum for our entire group despite way too much petty high school drama, childish behavior, and real life drama (car breaking down). After basically pulling a damn miracle to make it happen we got there and the group was still bitching/snotty so I snapped, yelled loudly in front of teachers, and walked the fuck out. My date, who I had recently started semi-dating/hooking up with, went home with another dude. In hindsight I don’t blame her but we were supposed to be friends first and I thought she would be there emotionally for me instead of piling it on.
The next year I went but also had a shit ton of stress because I was getting everyone else ready and then no one would help me/gave a shit. My other friend started pouting at like noon that day because a different friend hadn’t finished sewing her prom dress as promised. So I literally (this was before YouTube) took her fabric and figured out to make a skirt and hand sewed it on the spot to make her happy (it looked great btw) but then I ended up looking like crap with terrible hair.
I wasn’t mature enough to not let everyone put their bullshit on me.
Overall it was stressful and lackluster. Other dances (esp. Halloween dance or sadie-hawkins) were much more fun because there was way less pressure. You could just show up and vibe.
Sorry you had that experience with prom. I can relate to the stress part, my own school prom had some issues too. It’s tradition here in the last school semester to go around asking classmates in the style of marriage proposals if they’d like to be their prom date. I am not introverted but wasn’t well-liked and had a reputation due to how a past relationship ended (to the point where people would respond by mockingly asking “why don’t you ask your old BF, oh wait”), so when my older brother (who is trans, female to male) mentioned wanting to experience a genuine prom while being himself, he became my senior prom companion. Except when we showed up, all anyone wanted to do was shoo us away, even after prepping. It took a toll.
I skipped mine and stayed home playing some GTA:SA and FFX lol
Would be nice honestly if they allowed video games as a prom activity.
Thankfully I’ve never lived anywhere where prom night is a thing. I can’t imagine the stress of “keeping up”. It was bad enough having the high school “cool kids” cults; amplifying it would be a nightmare.
It’s a night of leisure, the only “work” parts of it is trying to find clothes and a companion. Unless I misunderstand.
The “work” part of it is the stressing over clothing, your date, etc. beforehand. The poor kid trying to figure out how not to look poor at the prom. The fringe kid who’s pretty much guaranteed to be going dateless if at all and laughed at for it. I suspect if you’ve never been in an outside group (and I always have been because I’ve always been racially an outsider and literally an outsider because of frequent moving) you won’t have any idea what I’m talking about.
I’m just very thankful that in all my moving, I never moved anywhere where “prom” was a thing.
I never went to prom or anything. Me and my friends just stayed home and played counter strike if I remember correctly, I don’t think I bothered to remember what day it was even happening.
Is that an MMORPG type of game or a regular multiplayer game?
5v5 FPS multiplayer
I graduated high school in Belgium, prom is a thing there but probably not as big as in the US.
It was a cool night, but retrospectively we put too much importance into it, similar events during university were more meaningful
Are there any differences in how it’s celebrated there?
I’m not that well versed un American proms, so it’s hard to compare. From the comments here, I would say it’s less expensive and probably less peer pressure
I’m about to have my first in about 2 weeks, other than that, I can tell you people like to dress in suits, mainly more colorful ones.
I hope you have fun. And can confirm the suit part (or dresses for [most] women, I still have my turquoise dress from two of the proms and the pastel dress shirt/blouse and skirt from my own).
driveways? dresses? your into some wierd shit but I don’t judge. Its great for me. could not be a better time for it. Its like a golden age for it. Wait. thats an m not an n and you have r bfore the o. oh. woops. my bad.
Yes, prom is a dance celebration people in high school have right before (or after) they graduate. Though I hear that other thing is popular in college.
