• MindTraveller@lemmy.ca
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    16 days ago

    If you wanted to be narcisstic in mediaeval times, your best option was to join the clergy so you could swear a vow of celibacy. However, if you were a woman, you were shit out of luck. A narcissistic woman would be called a spinster or a hag for her asexuality.

      • MindTraveller@lemmy.ca
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        16 days ago

        Nah, Narcissus the Greek guy was asexual. That’s what the gods killed him for, for not sexing anyone. That’s what narcissism is.

        • shneancy@lemmy.world
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          16 days ago

          that is not what narcissism is, nor ever was? Man where did you get that info from? Get a refund

            • shneancy@lemmy.world
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              16 days ago

              would you mind giving me a quote then?

              I read through the relevant parts and “narcissus is asexual” was certainly not the reading I had, and aside from maybe 2 lines I can’t see anyone reading it like that. Majority of the poem focuses on how he’s fallen in love with himself, that’s his defining trait (and when the reflection couldn’t love him back he died of sad). And that has nearly always been what people think when they hear “narcissist”: someone in love with themselves above all else

                • shneancy@lemmy.world
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                  15 days ago

                  from the article

                  Narcissus was cursed with being enraptured by his own reflection as a punishment by Nemesis, and Nemesis agreed to punish Narcissus because he didn’t date anyone.

                  The words of the curse, though slightly different throughout various translations, only say, in essence, “when he falls in love may his love not be returned”, none of the translations I’ve seen imply he’s being cursed to fall in love with his reflection. And surely if he was asexual/aromantic the curse would mean fuck all to him right?

                  This entire interpretation depends on the words of the curse making him fall in love with his reflection, and I have not seen a version where that is what happens. Perhaps original Greek would be enlightening but I don’t speak that.

                  Yes the story isn’t the epitome of queer representation seeing as it assumes, at least in my mind, that being an ace is not an option and you’re curse-worthy if you don’t want to fuck people - but then again his sexuality is not brought up in the story at all. He was a 16 year old boy who’s only description we got is “really pretty and likes hunting in the forest”. Sure he could’ve been ace, but he could’ve also been autistic and missed all the usual neurotypical displays of affection, or maybe he just didn’t like how nobody seemed to like him for him and not his body, maybe he himself didn’t like anybody in his hometown.

                  My point is, the “Narcissus is ace” reading of the story is one of many, and sure we can play around with different interpretations and try to see different perspectives, it’s all good fun. But friend, you’re in a public forum presenting a niche interpretation of a famous story as if everybody was aware of it, and seemingly misinterpreting what the conversation is about overall because of it.

                  Nobody will say narcissism means asexuality without a supporting block of text to explain their position. When you see the word “narcissist” it’s going to mean “obsessed with self”, because the word has travelled through centuries and has been codified as such, a niche reading of the story from an ace’s perspective isn’t going to change that

                  • MindTraveller@lemmy.ca
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                    15 days ago

                    If someone who uses the word says narcissism means obsession with the self, I’m going to question why exactly they accepted a queerphobic cultural interpretation of an ancient Greek story, and why they don’t accept the right of asexuals to not be in a relationship.

          • Drivebyhaiku@lemmy.world
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            16 days ago

            You realize that the word narcissism is not fully encompassing of all aspects of the character in the tale that inspired the word though right?

            The word describes self-centeredness on the shallow end and on the deep has a diagnostic aspect for a mental disorder that has nothing to do with sexuallity. Referring to asexual people as narcissistic for not being sexually attracted to people would be considered quite insulting. Look up the dictionary definition or the DSM for the disorder and show me where it mentions asexuality if you can.

        • deegeese@sopuli.xyz
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          16 days ago

          That’s why the gods turned him into a dildo as a punishment for self-love, and not a flower as punishment for gazing in the mirror.