Sometimes people I just met (in a platonic context) will ask me things like “hey, what’s your Instagram, let’s keep in touch!”
My standard answer is that I don’t do social media, but I have found that people take it as bragging perhaps? I get answers like “oh, good for you! I wish I didn’t” or whatever.
If I say oh here’s my number that seems too odd these days, people not that much younger than me (I’m 31) don’t seem to text anymore. They use fb messenger or Instagram or others.
Also saying something like “I’m a privacy advocate and I use the fediverse” is also an odd thing to say unless I’m around techy people and even then it’s weird tbh.
How do I approach this? I don’t think I am better than people that use social media, its just not for me. I would prefer to text but I am not sure that works for a lot of people.
Or should I just bite the bullet and get an Instagram so that I don’t seem weird, and then perhaps ask for further contact details via that platform?
Abstaining from social media can be extremely alienating.
autistic btw if you couldn’t tell lmao, I have spent a lot of time thinking about this problem
i literally just say “I don’t really do social media” or “facebook creeps me out” depending on the audience
Nobody actually WANTS to be on that shit so ime when people say “good for you I wish I didn’t” they mean it
I straight up quit facebook. Worst social media by far.
“I was banned for trying to promote my onlyfans.”
I’ve been on the other side of this. It’s never felt weird, if anything I feel like it’s admirable. The other guy would just day something like “I don’t do social media” and then we’d swap emails.
I explain more if they ask me to clarify, but I start with a positive answer like what I do use instead of keeping them focused on what I don’t use.
“I’m on Matrix at X or Signal at Y, that’s how I stay in touch with people.”
“How do you keep up with current events like the news?”
“Anonymous social media, but I don’t tie my IRL identity to it in any meaningful way.”“I’m not really on social media”
Nobody would think you’re being condescending by saying you don’t use social media, that is the most normal thing you could say
I’m younger than you, but texting seems to be the #1 way everyone stays connected these days. Social media is more of a way to send memes
Obviously follow up by offering your number if you want to stay in touch with the person
I just tell the truth. I don’t have social media because I don’t see the benefit of it.
Plus it wasn’t good for me mentally as I would spend too much type arguing over dumb shit with idiots.
And it does more bad for society than good. If people don’t agree then I probably don’t want to be friends with them anyway. Not that I’m dropping old friends, but new ones should be similar in interests and if they’re not that’s fine, they will find people they can relate to more and each to their own.
I don’t want the last paragraph to seem like I’m judging people for using socials, I don’t care what people do, but I do care that friends are similar to me as we will get on more and have similar interests.
Apply below to be my friend.
I just say “I don’t have that”
Using have makes it more likely for them to have pity on you, rather than potentially seeing it as a obnoxious thing.
If I say oh here’s my number that seems too odd these days, people not that much younger than me (I’m 31) don’t seem to text anymore
They may not use it as the primary method, but most everyone has a number and will use them if it’s your preferred or only method of communicating. For e.g. I only text w/ one of my brothers (younger) and I don’t use Facebook on my phone, so will text friends when I’m afk
I’d give them my cellphone number, it’s not odd, and even if it is odd to someone, it’s still less odd/awkward than giving them no contact information. I’m younger than you, and that’s what I do, usually followed up by a chat on WhatsApp or text messaging.
Aye… just say you’re in a different media landscape of your choosing…
Depends what social media.
Instagram? Nah, I’m not pretty enough for that.
Facebook? What, do I look like a boomer?
Just keep it light and play into the reputation of the platform.
All you gotta say is Oh I don’t use that, do you have <app you do use>
You can start with WhatsApp if they are normal or Signal if they are a criminal or a nerd. If you gather many people try to get them all on a Matrix server.
Don’t overthink it you’re probably fine. If you then suggest an alternative way to keep in touch the other person will probably stop thinking about the no social media thing basically immediately.
print up name cards that have the info you want to share / the methods you want to be contacted by
