Inspired by this dorky exchange I had, thank u BountifulEggnog.

I want to know what your gender means to you, how you define it, what it means for you to “be” that gender and how you define it. Don’t fuss about ‘correct definitions’ or anything, this is about your experience, I want to know what it means to you. How you relate to that gender, perceive it.

Genders have a social construction aspect and is very subjective, so I think people’s subjective, personal views of their own are both important and interesting. Inquiring mind wants to know! interviewer

I'll share some of mine I guess.

I was a trans woman until the contradictions sharpened to a razor’s edge after reading Gender Outlaw and The Gender Accelerationist Manifesto. My brain got cracked in half. I have always hated the effects testosterone would have on my body, so estrogen was a given, but while I do identify with certain things that are commonly associated with being a woman… if nothing is inherently gendered, what even is a gender? niko-concern I had a whole little episode about it in the megathread once.

As I went on from there, I realised that while I like certain things about “being a woman”, equally I found I’d been sort of stifled by trying to fit into the social role. The women I have always related to most are the cis autistic women who basically yeet presentation in favour of dressing for sensory comfort. Almost kinda non binary, in a way… The more I interrogated binary gender in relation to myself, the more I dug up stuff like this. Also I didn’t really like that “woman” is associated with cis people a lot, I really like the trans part of my identity, feel a lot of love for it. I’ve felt freer and mentally clearer and truer to myself as a Non Binary Transfem, it’s cool and funny. What does it mean to me? It represents my goofy sometimes-androgynous presentation, my lack of cissie gender, how being neurodiverse influences my view, being a funny noody goblin. Share yours =)

  • belligerentkitten [they/them, it/its]@hexbear.netM
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    4 months ago

    oh its rlly cool ur wife is intersex. i get excited to hear about intersex ppl. we seem to be more common than people think though.

    i just wanted to add, that i could receive hormones from the state healthcare system and i have in the past. but it has treated me terribly when i have interacted with it both as a trans and intersex person. i self medicate, as an act of control over my body.

    • ashinadash [she/her]@hexbear.netOP
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      4 months ago

      There are dozens! The under-diagnosed aspect is absolutely no joke.

      Oh huh, sorry your experience was bad but sadly it’s not surprising or uncommon. I will never not be an advocate for selfmed, fuck the state.

      • belligerentkitten [they/them, it/its]@hexbear.netM
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        4 months ago

        absolutely. my partner is having a time with hormones and it doesnt seem to be explainable without her being intersex.

        i really want to write something, create something, about self med for these kinda of reasons. a lot of it is focused on self med because of gatekeeping and waiting lists, which is obviously a massive problem. but the other reasons people self med deserve attention.

          • belligerentkitten [they/them, it/its]@hexbear.netM
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            4 months ago

            thank you i helped someone run a survey on self med and a few people talked about stuff like this and it made me realise it was important to talk about and shift the perception away from simply, people are doing it because healthcare bad, but we would all medicalise ourselves given the opportunity.