• TexasDrunk@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      28
      ·
      3 months ago

      I want to break it up in a different way.

      I need a pediatrician to see my son. Unvaccinated his pediatrician. Just kicked him out.

        • Wilzax@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          3
          arrow-down
          1
          ·
          3 months ago

          That’s not a haiku, it needs to be 5, 7, 5 syllables not 6, 7, 4.

          The separation of lines matters, it’s not just 17 syllables.

          • OfCourseNot@fedia.io
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            4
            ·
            3 months ago

            Ha! You caught me! Well spotted!

            But now seriously, I’ll try to address your misconceptions:

            That’s not a haiku

            It is.

            it needs to be 5, 7, 5

            Not really. That’s like the definition for kids in school, simple but not 100% accurate. There’s plenty of haiku with different metrics, even single syllable lines.

            not 6, 7, 4

            I count 5-7-4.

            The separation of lines matter

            Iirc in Japanese haiku are written in one line.

            You are kind of right tho. I think it sounds better like ‘He just kicked him out’ but I was trying to making it just taking out words from the original post.

            • Wilzax@lemmy.world
              link
              fedilink
              arrow-up
              3
              arrow-down
              1
              ·
              3 months ago

              “Pediatrician” is 5 syllables on its own, so “need pediatrician” is 6.

              Japanese haiku rules who? If it’s English and I can’t sing it to the Jacksfilms Haiku tune, I’m not calling it a haiku

              • OfCourseNot@fedia.io
                link
                fedilink
                arrow-up
                2
                ·
                3 months ago

                You are right on the counting. Thanks for the correction! I must’ve read ‘-dia-’ as a diphthong, I don’t think I’ve ever said ‘pediatrician’ out loud until now. Still a haiku anyways.

                And that tune, almost none of the haiku fit the melody! For singing you have to take into account the accents and on beats. Don’t get me wrong I had a good chuckle and may or might not start doing it myself but as a rule of thumb to recognize (or gatekeep) haiku is not the best.

                Reading one-line haiku