• aaaaaaadjsf [he/him, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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    3 months ago

    You’d have to be incredibly obtuse to see such a thing as a compliment. It sounds backhanded and almost like she’s negging him. Like you’d have to consider men as emotionless robots with no deeper feelings or thought to see this as compliment. Oh wait, that’s how society sees men! And you’d have to know nothing about male gender roles and expectations to not see how this could be insulting. Imagine wanting to spend the rest of life with someone (in this case a man), and knowing this little about their gender identity. And I say this as someone that’s dated men. I don’t know, maybe this is all incredibly obvious to me as a man or something, because I cannot see how that would be a compliment.

    • Barabas [he/him]@hexbear.net
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      3 months ago

      The way it could be interpreted as a comliment is that fwb or hookup is too shallow and she wouldn’t be able to keep it at that level. But it is very badly worded if so. Just say “You’re the kind of man I would like to marry” instead, adding in the fwb and hookup stuff before adds nothing to the compliment.

      • aaaaaaadjsf [he/him, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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        3 months ago

        Are you really not seeing the issue? This could easily be interpreted as “I don’t find you physically attractive”, even if it wasn’t intended. Who in the world wants to hear that from their partner? It also could easily be interpreted as negging. Are people not allowed to feel aggrieved by that?

        • Nocturne Dragonite@lemmygrad.ml
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          3 months ago

          No, I am not seeing that cause she didn’t say it nor imply it lmao so I don’t see how you are? “Easily interpreted” is wild.

          • Azzu
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            3 months ago

            If someone said to you “you’re not someone I’d like to hook up with”, would that be more of a compliment or an insult to you?

      • SchillMenaker [he/him]@hexbear.net
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        3 months ago

        She literally says he wouldn’t be a FWB to her, the implication being that she’s not attracted to him in that way. If this guy came back and said “I listened to that Jimmy Soul song and I realized that you could really make me happy for the rest of my life so let’s go for it” would the expectation be that she’s cool with that?

        • Nocturne Dragonite@lemmygrad.ml
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          3 months ago

          How is that an implication? She says he’s worth more than a fwb, all that extra shit I have no idea where y’all are getting from cause she never said he wasn’t attractive