Except for " Do you mind…" I see you point and never noticed it before. I’m guilty of most of these.
However, the polite response to “Do you mind?” is “no.” Otherwise you would mind, and if you do mind, you wouldn’t want to do the favor. It’s actually a weird question because it basically flips the meaning of “yes” and “no” you usually expect.
You’re correct, yet still just agreeing with me. You’re trying to establish if someone would be comfortable performing a task using a negative. You’re not asking “would it be convenient for you to pick up milk on you’re way home?” Instead you’re forcing someone to consider reasons why it would not be convenient to perform a task.
To you and I, “why don’t you” is a direct request, but only because we understand the colloquial meaning. This is a really tough request for English language learners because it combines a negative with what is technically a rhetorical question and can sound like an accusation. Example: in college, when my roommate who’d been outside of China for the first time in his life and was now living in Texas left our dorm door open for a friend (unbeknownst to me), I requested of him, “why don’t you close the door?” This visibly confused him and he told me that he closes the door. He closed it this morning and yesterday. He always closes the door.
So “why don’t you close the door” is only understand to be a direct request, but it’s really a rhetorical question turned on its head and abused by English speakers everywhere. “Please close the door,” is a far more clear example of a direct request.
Except for " Do you mind…" I see you point and never noticed it before. I’m guilty of most of these.
However, the polite response to “Do you mind?” is “no.” Otherwise you would mind, and if you do mind, you wouldn’t want to do the favor. It’s actually a weird question because it basically flips the meaning of “yes” and “no” you usually expect.
That’s a good argument untiiiillll you consider that this question is essentially a negated version of “Will you please…”
See also: “Why don’t you…”
Not really, you’re asking if it would be an inconvenience with would you mind.
Your examples are direct requests.
You’re correct, yet still just agreeing with me. You’re trying to establish if someone would be comfortable performing a task using a negative. You’re not asking “would it be convenient for you to pick up milk on you’re way home?” Instead you’re forcing someone to consider reasons why it would not be convenient to perform a task.
To you and I, “why don’t you” is a direct request, but only because we understand the colloquial meaning. This is a really tough request for English language learners because it combines a negative with what is technically a rhetorical question and can sound like an accusation. Example: in college, when my roommate who’d been outside of China for the first time in his life and was now living in Texas left our dorm door open for a friend (unbeknownst to me), I requested of him, “why don’t you close the door?” This visibly confused him and he told me that he closes the door. He closed it this morning and yesterday. He always closes the door.
So “why don’t you close the door” is only understand to be a direct request, but it’s really a rhetorical question turned on its head and abused by English speakers everywhere. “Please close the door,” is a far more clear example of a direct request.