mocking and quoting bigots I've seen so far

:liberalism: turns to pit “you know it’s hexbear when the tankie pronoun parade shows up to force pictures of pigshit in front of you!”* real quick

[*this is paraphrased, I can’t remember the exact original quote]

Or “so suddenly I’m Hitler because i think people calling themselves Fae gender is dumb”

Or “why should i need to learn a new set of different pronouns for every person I meet?” (this followed two comments after “I’m literally not a transphobe, I work with plenty of trans colleagues who feel safe around me” (average lib being scratched in real time by having to acknowledge neopronouns))

.
All of these shitheads claimed to be allies when they started interacting but our brilliant pronoun tags immediately made them out themselves as the bigots they are who only pretend to be allies because it looks bad to be openly and proudly transphobic

TL;DR: pitmaduro-katana-1hexbear-non-binary

  • HornyOnMain@hexbear.netOPEnglish
    91·
    11 months ago

    I literally just got more people in my notifs fucking malding over neopronouns in fucking 196 agony-shivering

  • Łumało [he/him]@lemmygrad.mlEnglish
    73·
    11 months ago

    Hey i’m not even from Hexbear and I’ve decided to adopt them 😘

    Also about new pronouns, it might be pretty easy to remember them in English but goddamn Polish would be something else. And I’ve seen queer people make lists of all their pronouns and declinations, which is fucking based, but by god I would need a reference from every person I type to who uses neopronouns.

    In writing it only is a slight incovienience but in talking it would destroy the flow of conversation unless I’m already familiar with said person. So good on you anglos only having 2 pronouns that need to be set.

    EDIT: For those interested in our little shitshow, here have a wikipedia link lel:

    https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polish_grammar#Pronouns

    EDIT 2: You can also speak in Polish using a genderless passive way (don’t know how to tranlate it properly) by refraining from using pronouns at all. Or I use other sentence steuctures as to avoid using pronouns. It sounds funny at best and unnatural at worst. I use it when talking to trans people in public, as to maintain their safety and give them proper respect by refusing to use wrong pronouns.

    “Chciałbyś/Chciałabyś (already genered words have been used) napić się herbaty?”

    Would you like to drink some tea?

    “Może napilibyśmy się herbaty?”

    How about we drink some tea? (We just specifiy that we are talking about us togerher)

    “Przydałoby się wypić trochę herbaty.”

    I/We should drink some tea. (EDIT 3: After a bit of thinking I came to a realization that this sentence can refer to ourselves alone or us with the other person, but it depends on the context to know whether plural or singular is emphasized.)

    “Wypiłoby się herbaty?”

    Would we/you drink tea? (In this sentence we completely omit not only the gender. But also the singluar and plural. But we also give context that we don’t talk about ourselves alone by making this a question. The only uncertain thing is wether we talk about us together or them alone)

    EDIT 4: The better translation of the above sentence would be “Should/Would tea be drank?” because now I remembered that the formal way to call this type of talking is passive personless. (Bierny bezosobowy)

    Polish is funky.

    • LesbianLiberty [she/her]@hexbear.netEnglish
      571·
      11 months ago

      From my sample size all of my friends and most of the people I meet are trans because of social things I attend, and I’ve only met one person in real life who uses neopronouns. Really cool ze/zir.

      • invalidusernamelol [he/him]@hexbear.netEnglish
        37·
        11 months ago

        The only one I’ve run into is they/them and they’re not even that upset when people slip up. Just don’t like when people slip up and refuse to at least try.

        • Philosoraptor [he/him, comrade/them]@hexbear.netEnglish
          4·
          11 months ago

          I had a student a couple of years ago use it/her which was a genuinely tough one to get used to saying. As with most people, though, it was very nice and understanding as long as you made an effort.

          • Frank [he/him, he/him]@hexbear.netEnglish
            1·
            11 months ago

            “it” is the one that I have real reservations about, not because of the individual using it, but because it’s very much a slur leveled against trans people and queer people generally. I’d be extremely uncomfortable addressing someone as “it” in public bc to any passerby it would probably sound exactly like a big white cis guy using slurs against queer people. I guess I’ll just have to deal with it, but I really hope folks will step in to defend me if that admittedly very unlikely situation ever comes up.

            • Philosoraptor [he/him, comrade/them]@hexbear.netEnglish
              1·
              11 months ago

              Yep, that was exactly my hang-up too–talking that way felt dehumanizing. It was a great opportunity for some self-crit, though, and eventually I came to the conclusion that it isn’t my job or place to decide what is and isn’t dehumanizing to another human, and that my discomfort with saying it was all on me, not the person. If that’s what someone genuinely wants to be called, and feels validated and seen by others using that language, then fuck my own personal reservations about it.

    • kristina [she/her]@hexbear.netEnglish
      7·
      11 months ago

      ive met 1 person irl that uses neopronouns at our lgbt community center, I’ve met maybe 1000+ trans people there because they come to ask us for healthcare providers a lot. we have a sticker printing machine so they can get neopronoun stickers, and its only ever been used that one time

      tbh i think a lot of people think it might be too burdensome to use neopronouns in a casual context, so they self censor it and default to they/them which everyone knows how to use.

    • CTHlurker [he/him]@hexbear.netEnglish
      20·
      11 months ago

      I feel the same way. Originally i was sort of ambivalent, because it frankly didn’t matter to me, but it really makes it a lot easier when you’re talking to someone and it didn’t seem like much trouble to go through.

      • RazzazzikaEnglish
        7·
        11 months ago

        Yeah which is why it bothers me whenever a company or website adds pronoun visibility many people cry ‘woke’ and I’m like… pronouns exist in almost every language. What are you freaking out about? We are all anonymously online, the pronouns help natural language flow when talking online.

        • CTHlurker [he/him]@hexbear.netEnglish
          2·
          11 months ago

          I mean the very word “pronoun” has taken on a life of its own, to the point where english teachers in America are afraid to teach basic grammar, because hearing “today we are going to learn about pronouns” activates all the moronic sleeper agents.

  • artificialset [she/her, fae/faer]@hexbear.netEnglish
    701·
    11 months ago

    concerned about new pronouns? think it’s unfair to have to learn new pronouns??

    bestie we’ve dealt with this near-site breaking struggle sessions before and won, so gl with that

    • ButtBidet [he/him]@hexbear.netEnglish
      461·
      11 months ago

      NGL I was mildly against the pronoun thing when it started, but I was humble enough not to get involved in the struggle sessions. So literally thanks to Hexbear posters for putting me on the right side of history.

      • TillieNeuen [she/her]@hexbear.netEnglish
        45·
        11 months ago

        I had a moment of “I’m not sure I want to be obviously female on the internet,” then I remembered I chose a feminine username and realized I was being real dumb. Also it’s Hexbear, so misogyny just isn’t a problem anyway.

      • fox [comrade/them]@hexbear.netEnglish
        38·
        11 months ago

        My stance on the pronouns was always:

        1. I have nothing to gain if these aren’t added, and lose nothing if they are
        2. Queer comrades gain wider acceptance if they are, and a more inclusive environment is a better environment

        Seemed like a pretty easy choice

        • UlyssesT [he/him]@hexbear.netEnglish
          8·
          11 months ago

          It makes some people that are comrades happy and takes basically no effort to just have them there.

          As a bonus it makes chuds mad. grill-broke

      • adultswim_antifa [he/him]@hexbear.netEnglish
        9·
        11 months ago

        I wasn’t really against it, but I didn’t set my pronouns at first because I didn’t think I should call attention to myself as a cis guy, but TC69 wrote an effort post mentioning that people like me setting pronouns normalizes pronouns. So I did and pronouns are good. It’s nice to know how to refer to people.

    • Zrc [she/her]@hexbear.netEnglish
      681·
      11 months ago

      trans people don’t want to be around me, so many of them being in one place is very suspicious

      smuglord

  • AcidSmiley [she/her]@hexbear.netEnglish
    531·
    11 months ago

    Today i saw a guy from midwest.social claim that

    CW: transphobia, world's most clueless cissie

    we must be Russian bots because we have so many different pronouns. I’d link to the comment, but it has obviously been removed by the mods for the transphobia. I still can’t get over how much of a cisdude shitfest your surroundings must be that it throws you off when the people replying to you have exotic pronouns like “he/him” and “she/her” - these were literally two of his examples, the others being “they /them” and “none / use name” and a grand total of one actual neopronoun. Made that dipshit think that our botnet “sets pronouns to shuffle”, as if that would result in something as tame as the selction of pronouns he’s given.

      • AcidSmiley [she/her]@hexbear.netEnglish
        46·
        11 months ago

        such a complete dingus, you can tell he’s never consciously talked to a trans person in their entire life, has no idea what trans spaces look like, has no bloody clue how radicalizing it is to grow up as trans in our society and how absurdly large the number of trans anarchists and communists is or how much we concentrate in the few spaces that actually care for our safety. i actually kinda pitty them for that.

        • citrussy_capybara [ze/hir]@hexbear.netEnglish
          27·
          11 months ago

          Yes, at one point they admitted “I’ve never met a trans person” which 1, you definitely have but you’re off-putting enough that no one trusts you, and 2, that was obvious from the other comments. Sad.

        • kristina [she/her]@hexbear.netEnglish
          6·
          11 months ago

          i did an informal poll of our irl lgbt community that has hundreds of visitors each month and determined that trans people in my area (a fairly rural area with a somewhat large city near it) are 90% socialist. the rest were largely right wing libertarians, and usually were older people transitioning later in life. only around 5% said they didnt care for politics / didnt think about it at all.

          obviously this is not conclusive for trans people at large, but its a pretty big sampling

          • AcidSmiley [she/her]@hexbear.netEnglish
            4·
            11 months ago

            Yeah, being trans is radicalizing as hell. You get to experience how awful even (and especially) libs can be, how fake and performative the supposed allyship of some people is, you also learn the importance of community and solidarity and how kind and welcoming others can be, how much capacity for love and care humans have when their heart is in the right place. And maybe you already need a certain radicalism to come out, it always seemed like a revolutionary act to me to put on makeup and a dress when i wasn’t passing at all and go out there trampling on people’s ideas of how gender works. Or to take these chemicals and hack my body chemistry, get myself blasted with lasers, prepare to be cut up and put together in new ways, overthrow unlivable material conditions and replace them with better ones that actually fit my needs. What’s more communist than turning your own body into the laboratory of revolution?

      • 𝒍𝒆𝒎𝒂𝒏𝒏@lemmy.oneEnglish
        26·
        11 months ago

        That midwest user needs to touch grass and give the social a break IMO. Why allow yourself to get that worked up over pronouns?

        Do they think Blahaj is a botnet too?

            • citrussy_capybara [ze/hir]@hexbear.netEnglish
              10·
              11 months ago

              There are some fish that are like sharknip, cocaine, and meth mostly.

              According to Hird, this powder is known to trigger a dopamine hit in the shark’s brain.

              the cocaine suppressed their movements. “You’d think that a shark on cocaine is going to be swimming around all over the place at 1,000 miles an hour,” Hird says. “But that is us taking our human brains and putting it into the shark’s head.”

              recent research illustrates that aquatic animals can involuntarily fall under the influence of narcotics. In 2021 a team studying the impact of methamphetamine pollution […] found that in the lab, the fish appeared to become hooked by only small amounts of meth in the water. They even exhibited signs of withdrawal when moved to a new tank.

              • HornyOnMain@hexbear.netOPEnglish
                9·
                11 months ago

                the cocaine suppressed their movements. “You’d think that a shark on cocaine is going to be swimming around all over the place at 1,000 miles an hour,” Hird says. “But that is us taking our human brains and putting it into the shark’s head.”

                sicko-wistful

      • axont [she/her, comrade/them]@hexbear.netEnglish
        23·
        11 months ago

        A normal person would interpret a wide variety of pronouns as evidence of a community that encouraged trans people to feel comfortable

        Instead we’re a James Bond plot

  • some_guy@lemmy.sdf.orgEnglish
    45·
    11 months ago

    I’ve been training myself through deliberate use to use they/them whenever there’s any ambiguity. It’s almost completely effortless now. Rarely do I have to think about it consciously.

  • nickwitha_k (he/him)@lemmy.sdf.orgEnglish
    41·
    11 months ago

    I just love your pronoun support. It’s great to see both the serious ones and the joke ones. Both for the solidarity with our brothers/sisters/niblings and as a quick visual cue that a comment thread is gonna get interesting in a way that isn’t supporting bigotry :D

    • booty [he/him]@hexbear.netEnglish
      76·
      11 months ago

      There are no joke pronoun options on Hexbear. We took a hard stance early that the pronoun tags are serious, without any of our normal silliness.

    • citrussy_capybara [ze/hir]@hexbear.netEnglish
      41·
      11 months ago

      Manually adding pronouns by customising your display name in settings is something everyone can do on any instance. The difference being it’s mandatory here. Feel free to add your own and join in.

    • AcidSmiley [she/her]@hexbear.netEnglish
      29·
      11 months ago

      The closest to a joke option is “comrade / them”, but even that is something you can use in a normal conversation on here, comrade actually works surprisingly well as a gender-neutral pronoun in a leftist space. We deliberately decided against allowing to enter your own pronouns because we didn’t want chud trolls to make their “my pronouns are fuck / you” jokes when they wander in, and as a result, we had to make a very inclusive list of neopronouns to not leave any serious wishes for pronouns out. Back then, we also purged a substantial part of our userbase when the pronoun discussion made them let their mask slip. I think we’re better off for it, hexbear was actually the first site where i dared to set my pronouns to she / her when i was still halfway questioning and i love that i immediately know how i can adress anybody i interact with on here. even on trans discord servers, i often have to first click on people’s bio to see that.

      • nickwitha_k (he/him)@lemmy.sdf.orgEnglish
        23·
        11 months ago

        hexbear was actually the first site where i dared to set my pronouns to she / her

        That’s kinda beautiful. Thanks for sharing that and the Hexbear background.

        • AcidSmiley [she/her]@hexbear.netEnglish
          17·
          11 months ago

          it was kinda wild how long i was on here telling all my trans comrades “wow, somehow what you say reminds me so much of my experiences, even though i’m not trans at all” lol. but still, it helped a lot to have a space were being trans and playing around with your pronoun tags is something that’s just normal.

          • nickwitha_k (he/him)@lemmy.sdf.orgEnglish
            13·
            11 months ago

            That’s really awesome. While I’m cis-(mostly)het, I’m close to several trans people in my life, some of whom have had significant struggles because of their gender. Hearing about such tools for self-exploration and acceptance is wonderful and you Hexbears continue to make my heart happy since federating.

            • AcidSmiley [she/her]@hexbear.netEnglish
              13·
              11 months ago

              It’s such a simple tool and it does so much for people who want to explore their gender or who don’t (yet) pass well enough to get gendered correctly or who basically never get gendered correctly because almost nobody just assumes you’re enbie. It just instantly creates a space where everybody only knows you as your true self. I hope that other instances reach out to our devs and implement the tag system as well.

      • nickwitha_k (he/him)@lemmy.sdf.orgEnglish
        2·
        11 months ago

        Honestly, I had to look up the most accepted term a month or two back because I didn’t want to exclude non-binary folk when discussing human unity.

        • autismdragon [he/him, comrade/them]@hexbear.netEnglish
          3·
          11 months ago

          To be clear, from what I understand, “niblings” is gender neutral for niece/nephew, not brother/sister (which is just the regular word “siblings” you already know). There could be some disagreement about that. But I call the young person with DID of various genders who I have adopted as e-family my “niblings”. I knew the term before because I just wanted to know what the gender neutral for that was.

          • nickwitha_k (he/him)@lemmy.sdf.orgEnglish
            3·
            11 months ago

            Huh. Interesting. I had found it as a similar tier of relation to gender terms for sibling. But now that you mention it I think I recall that usage from before. This has made sense as it seems a mutation of sibling + nb, in a similar manner to enby.

            The term “sibling” itself doesn’t seem quite specific enough to me in such usage as while it is gender-neutral, it does so by being extremely general and passive, while my intent would be to affirmatively communicate those of a sibling-tier relation who identify as non-binary genders not linguistically accounted for or acknowledged in recent history.

  • ItsPequod [he/him]@hexbear.netEnglish
    38·
    11 months ago

    Love the pronouns.

    Wish they weren’t a hyperlink. Tired as hell of accidentally tapping them instead of the upbear, can the upbear be moved to the right of the time poster maybe?