i just thought of that and was like wow china is so scary
tankies deny this
this never happened #fakenews
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that would be fucked up and scary, wow
It makes me sick they’d even want to do this I mean what is wrong with them
Look up “asiatic skull”
Not on google of course, they hide the TRUTH
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Like the borehole that ussr built for “science”
Look, dudes rock, and they don’t need to come up excuses for when they just want to dig a big hole
You mean the USSRussy?
Hey, digging a big hole is science
Probably the best science in fact
They better not be because that’s supposed to be my thing
China looked at me once and said and it scared me
We have to use the nukes
Seems likely. We wouldn’t even know because it’s always night over there when it’s day over here, but it’s night over hear when it’s day over there, so we wouldn’t be able to see it!
China’s several timezones ahead, so they can stab us from the future. We can’t see it coming. We need to develop our counter knife program immediately so that we can stab them from the past as a preemptive defense!
it’s time to bring back the giant spoon. it was a shield all along.
Congress is allocating an additional $75 billion to the Pentagon for this pressing issue
What China hasn’t accounted for is my fucked up sleep schedule
What
hasn’t accounted for is how I will greet the Chinese and their giant knife as liberators
We must take control of the sun!
It’s on my agenda after we crash mercury in to mars as part of my scientific plan to fix astrology.
Fuck I love science!
Epic!
☝🤓 uhm akshually if China built a knife like that they would only be able to stab parts of South America
https://engaging-data.com/antipodes-map/
they could stab at an angle, the chinese know about angles.
Which Chinese spy stole the protractor technology? We know that they can’t develop original IPs so they must have stolen it.
Quick! Send some feds to harass Chinese researchers! They think they’re clever but we know their secret - the spies have this app called “WeChat” on their phone.
this website is really cool!
Hell yeah
they could stab you through the floor just for posting “tinman square” even tho its your free speech
You don’t understand it wasn’t just the tinman, the got dang see see pee ran their tanks over the scarecrow, the cowardly lion, Dorothy and even Toto
Wait do you think they are, though?
OH LOOK ITS THE CHINESE SPY BOTS COMING OUT IN FORCE TO DENY THE ULTRAKNIFE WOW OK WE KNOW BUT OK
No what I’m saying is I imagined the same thing so you’re probably right about this.
Edit: and it was scary, too, thats how I know we imagined the same thing
If multiple people are imagining this it only confirms to me that China has a mind ray which can hijack the human brain.
but what IF??
You think they’ve been making microchips in those factories in Taiwan? Really? They’re using that machinery to sharpen the finest edge you’ve never seen. That baby will cut through the crust like butter.
does this therefore prophesize that a future socialist project will unleash the giant fork upon the world in 2100?
or do you think President Kim is already working on it?
Damn, real if true 😔
if china has the knife and russia has the spoon who has the fork?
Germany. They have human forks. There was meme going on in China where DW published an article about “Human Rights in China” and the cover said “Human Forks” instead of Human Rights really big in Chinese because surprise surprise, German state media knows nothing about China.
人叉
US
Give me 3000 words and we’ll get you in NYT
ChinaKnife: The Ultimate Weapon?
Last night news broke on a Chinese disinformation space, Hexbear.net, that China is potentially developing a weapon of mass destruction. User “Happybadger” announced that the superweapon is capable of assassinating any person anywhere on Earth, utilising the core itself to shield itself from any warning systems. This weapon required well over a decade of covert research to design and will effectively hold the planet hostage down to the level of the individual world leader or dissident. The weapon is reported to consist of a gigantic knife of unknown composition, likely a titanium alloy if not a secret material, which pierces through the ground to stab the victim. This superweapon is believed to be at least 7,926mi (12,756km) long, built without disclosure to any other member of the UN. This distance ensures that it can pierce the full diameter of the planet. It is presumably longer so that the knife can kill its victim even if they are in a tall building such as the One World Trade Centre. This building was constructed in the aftermath of the collapse of the previous World Trade Centre buildings which were infamously destroyed in the 9/11 attacks. China has not responded to repeated email inquiries confirming or denying this story, even to mrpresident@china.gov which is reported to be the personal email account of Chinese leader Xi Jinping. Mr. Jinping would surely have full knowledge of the hyper-knife, or ChinaKnife as it’s being called by at least one media outlet, and would have overseen its development. It is imperative that the US military consider a preemptive nuclear strike.
