He wants to hire me as a talent scout when I leave rehab, but is willing to pay for my recovery home once I leave rehab. According to him he’s “Dummy rich, an anarchist, and was saved by someone in the same way” in the 90s. Can I get fucked over by accepting this dude’s help?

  • InternetLefty [he/him]@hexbear.netEnglish
    33·
    16 days ago

    Anyone offering you anything that’s not written down can take it away at any time. It could be a legit offer, but if you rely on it, it puts you in a position of vulnerability. My advice is say sure, and have a back up plan. Trust your gut in all things. Good luck!

  • Aliveelectricwire [it/its]@hexbear.netOPEnglish
    25·
    16 days ago

    Honestly my paranoia can be explained by the fact I’m a victim of long term abuse and alcohol withdrawal. I’m just searching for rational opinions bc I am def not qualified to make any rn

    • booty [he/him]@hexbear.netEnglish
      11·
      16 days ago

      I’m not any of that and I’d still be paranoid as hell about such an offer. Generally if it seems too good to be true it is.

      But I would also accept the offer while assuming that it probably can’t work out lol

  • Awoo [she/her]@hexbear.netEnglish
    22·
    16 days ago

    Do you have a good ass and do they seem sex pest-ey?

    This is a serious and I think fair question to ask. Are they into you?

  • dustbunnies [she/her, comrade/them]@hexbear.netEnglish
    20·
    16 days ago

    Can I get fucked over by accepting this dude’s help?

    well, I’ve learned the hard way that sometimes often people who are offering to help are hoping to get a little something in return. sometimes it’s just the good feeling of helping, sometimes it’s just your friendship, but sometimes … 😐

    what does he want from you? how certain can you be that whatever answer(s) he gives are accurate and complete?

    it can be a risky situation to put all your eggs into someone else’s cushy basket. do you have any local-enough sober/in-recovery friends you could crash with if it turns out he’s looking for sexual favors or a virtual slave?

    • Aliveelectricwire [it/its]@hexbear.netOPEnglish
      25·
      16 days ago

      I have 3 bands that want to sign with them. 2 of the 3 bands agreed with me to not sign with them if I don’t get hired. (They’re amazing leftist comrades.) But considering I can’t even leave my room without being yelled at, any improvement is a plus. I know he isn’t using me for sexual favors, it’s been done before to me and isn’t triggering any warning signs, I think this person just genuinely sees my talent as a music nerd as an asset, and st worse is still offering a job that can pay for a legit house.

    • dustbunnies [she/her, comrade/them]@hexbear.netEnglish
      13·
      16 days ago

      okay, so let’s run through what the possible scenarios could be here, so you can figure out how you feel about them and how you would deal with them

      everybody help, I won’t think of everything

      • he’s exactly what he claims to be
      • he’s a serial killer and you’re in danger
      • he is mostly what he seems but also very lonely and maybe a little weird and has a hard time making friends except in this way
      • he is looking to trap a slave
      • he is running a cult
      • he is part of a cult

      as I’m typing them, the third one seems the most likely to me – and I bet this strategy tends to backfire a little, because it can make for an awkward beginning to a friendship when there’s so much inequity from the jump. it can be hard to recover from that, but finding a way to make the aid mutual really helps, so if that is the situation, just seeing the act of friendship as a gift you’re giving in return might be helpful.

      if I had more money, I would be trying to take people in constantly, so I’ve been more trusting of these kinds of situations than I ought to be and gotten into trouble. but I am that kind of person, and I know there are others, and some of them probably have money. so maybe it’s legit.

  • Hexboare [they/them]@hexbear.netEnglish
    19·
    16 days ago

    It doesn’t sound like a trap.

    Assuming the recovery home costs $10,000, and an average talent scout costs $40,000 a year, it would be reasonable for this person to pay $10k for someone they reckon is 25 percent better than the person they could have hired as a talent scout.

    I had a staff member who worked out in the country and we paid for his whole house.

  • Aliveelectricwire [it/its]@hexbear.netOPEnglish
    17·
    16 days ago

    My big ass dream goal is to literally start my own ass record label called “Chapo” in name of our original link. The other dream goal is buying my mom a house and that def comes first.

  • Utter_Karate [he/him, comrade/them]@hexbear.netEnglish
    14·
    16 days ago

    Can’t speak to if he is being genuine or not, but if you have had bad experiences previously don’t fall into the trap of being unable to accept help. Be wary about signing any contracts and try to keep other options open. Best case scenario looks great, so try to mitigate the worst case without falling into the trap of not accepting any help at all, which would continue to hurt you throughout your life.