I would LOVE to be able to branch out, but as much as I’ve tried in my almost 30 years, it always ends as nothing but a wet fart. Most of the people who I do vibe with (and who tolerate me) exist in the form of potential romantic interests and it just doesn’t work out. I can’t find that “line” of platonicness and romance. From that perspective then, I guess it makes sense why my friendships/commections ceased formation in my adolescence. Doesn’t make it suck any less though lolololol
That’s good to hear, I guess my main problem is that I am very quick to compare myself to others so when I see someone from high school who has “branched out” and no longer interacts with myself or others from the same period, I feel like I have failed.
It really is so ominous that adults are treated like children by authority figures without some of the most cherished benefits.
I always think back to the line in simulacra and simulation about how the world wants to be childish to make use believe that the adults are elsewhere despite the fact that childishness is everywhere (I don’t know if that’s what they were getting at exactly but it’s how I interpret it). We are unable to be ourselves as adults which adversely affects developing real and long lasting relationships.
Comparison is the thief of joy.
If you want to branch out because you feel like your current friends aren’t people you can form a deep connection with, that’s one thing. If you feel like it’s just something you should do because you’ve seen other people do it, that’s another. Several of my friends I’ve known since elementary school. When I tell people I’ve known my best friend for over 20 years, usually people think that’s neat and sometimes are jealous I’ve maintained a friendship that long.
If your current friend group is made of people you can trust and rely on, then I say you cherish that.
The compartmentalizing of ones own self is a reflection of the demands of the capitalist mode of production, not to beat dead horse. You have yourself at home, yourself at work, yourself with your parents, yourself with your spouse, yourself with your children, yourself when acting as a consumer, yourself with your friends. Many of these selves are minimizes or archived as a result of the never ending demands of capitalist society.
Having the ability to “branch out” is also a reflection of the capitalist system. You have these opportunities due in part to your success at the game of capital. You might be higher up the ladder, engendering an existence with fewer consequences or more flex time or leisure time. You have this freedom to socialize in ways that are different because the demands are different. This process is effectively a game of chance played at a cosmic scale.
I knew people I thought would have branched out due in part to their placement in the cosmic lottery only to learn they had OD’d and had a long standing drug habit I wasn’t aware of. I know people who looked to be going nowhere, but now work in the games industry on huge projects. Life has a funny way of working out. There isn’t much of a point comparing yourself to others, because what is true today could be false tomorrow.
The only person worth comparing yourself to is yourself. Setting realistic and achievable goals will eventually add up in time, and you’ll look back at your self and be able to say you’ve succeeded.