…ideally one that was both genuine and that you had the confidence and self awareness to interpret as kind. And for bonus points, what’s one you’ve given?

I’m thinking back to the guy in group therapy years ago who told me he always thought of people who swore as not knowing any better words, but that I obviously knew better words and just also swore and even used them artistically and that’s just really stuck with me. Sometimes I wonder how much of my self esteem has suffered not just because I’ve been told not to brag, but also because I’m extremely weird so the compliments I do receive often reflect that.

My bonus one (and I’m not sure how well he was able to take it) was that one of my fellow psych nurses was frequently and obviously terrified any time shit hit the fan, but that somehow still he’d never once failed to have my back. He’d be stuttering the whole way through an incident but I’d walk out of the med room with both halves of a B52 and he’d take one of the syringes without a second thought. He was literally the epitome of “courage isn’t not being scared, it’s being willing to face it.” I should find a nice presentation of that quote somewhere to send him because I’m not sure I phrased it well at the time.

  • geekwithsoul
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    63
    ·
    1 month ago

    I was in my early 20s and was visiting a friend’s house. His wife had a friend visiting that I’d never met. We were introduced and the first words she said to me were “Do you know your features are wasted on a guy?” and then went on to provide specific details.

    We were married a year later. And that was 30 years ago.

    • Apytele@sh.itjust.worksOP
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      28
      ·
      edit-2
      1 month ago

      Especially eyelashes. It’s bizarre to me that eyelashes are considered feminine when increased eyelash thickness / length is practically a male secondary sex characteristic (turns out testosterone doesn’t magically skip your eyelashes). I’ve always wanted write a historical fiction femdom porn where the men dress like birds of paradise just for the principle of the thing; in nature males are more often the “fairer” sex, lol.

      • shani66@ani.social
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        17
        ·
        1 month ago

        Man what happened to men’s fashion? We went from heels and frills to grey on black and it’s awful.

      • sp3tr4l@lemmy.zip
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        14
        ·
        1 month ago

        Guy here: I have had multiple female friends and girlfriends tell me I have beautiful eyelashes that they are jealous of.

        I still find it weird… like I understand it is a compliment and that they genuinely wish that they had such natural lashes…

        Probably I just have too many core memories about being bullied for it by guys in high school and middle school.