We are all prostitutes in some way, shape or form under capitalism. Tell them that at thanksgiving and example that renting yourself to a company to drive trucks, scan tills,deliver pizza is not that different to renting yourself out for sex. Both involve you doing a service for others in exchange for cash.
This is the sort of lighthearted shitpost response I always hope for when I post something like this.
Isn’t prostitution usually exploited by organized crime?
One could quivle about the difference between prostitution and sex work but generally speaking you are correct
Only in countries where sex work is illegal.
You’d think that a country with a recent, well documented, lived example of how prohibition doesn’t actually fix anything might have learnt something from the experience
Just because we can’t enforce something 100% all the time, every time, doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try.
After all, is murder and theft can’t be fully stopped, should we just say screw it and get rid of the laws forbidding it?
What a great point.
The communist prostitute is so much better
Seize the means of reproduction!
The trick is to force everyone to sit on the same side of the table.
they only did that for the painting.
So crazy that people still believe this.
The other twelve disciples (Bobert, Dave, Big Dave, Little Dave, Deathlord, Dolores, Fifibelle, Larry, Lucifer, Tarquin, and Zebuchenezuzuzuzechazzachuah) were on the other side of the table.
Who do you think took the photo? Do you think Jesus had a selfie-stick? SMH.
pay some prostitutes to come to your thanksgiving dinner and debate your uncle on his ideas about immigrants.
Pay the prostitutes to argue for MAGA and fascism and watch the uncle be upset in having to agree with a prostitute.
Bonus points if the uncle argues against MAGA and fascism so that he won’t have to agree with a prostitute.
I would splurge and get me a prostitute with a PhD in International Relations or stuff like that.
The key differences here is “inviting” vs “paying”.
Who says you can’t invite some prostitutes to Thanksgiving dinner? Even a hooker’s gotta eat.
Even a hooker’s gotta eat.
That’s what ho cakes are for.
One might consider this paying them with food, but you could say the same about Jesus, so it tracks
Jesus was a homeboy, follow his lead: drink wine, hang with the homies, be chill with the hoes, pass the snacks and wreck a market in a mega church.
Wait a second, when did I become a moderator of Lemmy Shitpost? I mean I don’t mind, but no one told me!
Congratulations, I guess. Now, get to work!
I don’t think Jesus asked the prostitutes to give him handies under the dinner table.
Missed opportunity.
Jesus doesn’t have to ask.
Jesus prefers footsies.
Ofc not, that what the decides are for
Guess ho’s coming to dinner
deleted by creator
That ended weirdly specific. Looks at username Oh yea, that makes sense now.
Jesus sounds like the best dude in this scenario.
Oh shit. Maybe Donald Trump is the next messiah.
His followers sure seem to think so.
He sure seems to think so too
Image Transcription: Twitter
Steve vs Ninjas @stevevsninjas
Jesus invited prostitutes to dine with him and he’s the light of the world, I do it and I’m “making Thanksgiving awkward.”
Its because you are the prostitute your uncle brought and everyone hates +1s
It’s Thanksgiving dumbass, prostitutes have no place there, that’s for Christmas. You should bring a Native American to true honor the tradition. If he or she happens to be a prostitute, or you have enough trust, ensure a very loud fuck that night, and please keep yelling “thanks for this” so everyone knows you are thankful.
Jeez, some people just mix shit up
What if you can’t find a Native American but you can find a Pilgrim?
Technically, you should bring them to a Native American house. Unless is a prostitute pilgrim, then you can bring them to your house, but the custom then is fucking in the nearest bathroom during the dinner, same audio cues apply. Bonus points if you as the host get pegged by them.
I like to bring up 1 Samuel 18:27.
If you’re gonna bring it up, at least quote the damn verse. Not a lot of us have the Bible memorized.
Going on this journey yourself is part of the magic. Encourage your relatives to do the same.
spoiler
If someone at the table actually knows the verse ask them if they would collect 200 foreskins if Trump asked them to.
I’ve read the Bible cover to cover, which is more than can be said about 90% of Christians. Reading it is what led me away from Christianity to begin with, and I have no interest of re-reading that horrible piece of garbage ever again. Kindly make your point without requiring us to do homework.
200 foreskins. It’s in the spoiler. Saul said to David, “Get me 100 foreskins if you wanna bang my daughter.”
David was like shit, I gotta impress dad and god. I’ll kill double the amount of living breathing people just so I can cum in a lady I’m horny for.
Nevermind that Saul was motivated by fear that David was becoming more popular by winning battles. Saul gave the task because he
hoppedhoped David would die or fail. The way this is spun in Sunday school is that David was honoring god by showing he could overcome difficult tasks. David was honoring god by killing 200 people and slicing up some peepee.Now take a bite of turkey and stare your uncle directly in the eye, asking through a mouth full of food, “You circumcised?”
Thank you. In the end, your take on it was way more entertaining than looking up the actual verse would have been for anyone.
Jessie, we have to briss.
