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Not even sure if it’s (always) that? I’m neither introverted nor especially socially anxious but I hate hate hate taking or placing phone calls. I think (?) It’s because there’s a certain loss of control associated with it given I can’t take my time responding as I can with chat messages.
It’s also the detached nature of voice only, and as you said, synchronous, no time to think much.
For me I prefer talking in person, phone call, messaging, forums.
The mental toll is also in the same order
Yep, it’s cause it’s voice only and you can’t see facial expressions or gestures. I hate it.
Yes but actually no. Sometimes you like a person and wanna talk with em… But then they have this issue of running into tangents that just don’t stop and you already did the whole “Yep. Well it was nice talking to ya” an hour ago.
I’m just not friends with people that ramble on and hit tangents. It means they don’t consider much else than themselves and their thoughts. I won’t be socially held hostage for some one else’s enjoyment.
I just don’t want to talk to anyone. I want to be alone.
Being alive means someone will meet you and crawl into your space though.
I would be happy to be left alone almost completely. I want to talk to my wife and kids.
I want everyone else to just leave me be. I’m fine like this, strangers on the internet.
Nobody getting upset. “I texted him and he didn’t reply waaaaaa!”
I’m on the autism spectrum and hate making phone calls as well. It definitely isn’t just social anxiety. I definitely have no problem talking to people face to face or over video.
Not always - sometimes it’s gender dysphoria!
My extrovert friends are so goddamn needy.
I know. You want to share every detail of your life. I don’t get a choice in the matter without feeling like a monster.
So I listen, I cry a little bit, I beg the gods to kill me, I listen some more. I feel bad and I don’t want you to hurt.
As an introvert, everything I deal with, I deal with alone. I like it that way.
It’s my empathy. I know I need it, but I don’t want it.
I just want to be alone. That’s all I want.
I want that so bad, but I’m in a spot that just begs for company.
I take care of my kids and I think, “man, tomorrow is Sunday. I can get some much needed alone time at work.” I convince myself every week and then here comes an extrovert. “Let’s talk about everything. How is your life?” “Oh you know, just sitting around begging the universe to let me play a single player game without being interrupted.” “Oh, neat. Games. So any way, that girl I was telling you about. Folks are saying she is talking to another guy, but I think she’s….”
GODDAMN IT LET ME BE ALONE OR LET ME DIE!!!
Sorry to be dramatic. I really really really need to be alone for a day so so so bad.
I feel your pain
Real question, I get it’s hard to avoid people at work, or because of accompanying your kids to things, but having friends? That’s on you.
You could just, not, have extroverted friends. They’re not needy, you just value different things in a friendship.
Then the next few days thinking of how you could’ve said something different and how you probably sounded as you bumbled through it
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then the negative and self criticism thoughts about how you could have done it better hits you 🥲🥲
“Did you ask ?”
Queue panic.
Queue me (a 24 year adult man) asking “Can you call them back and ask for me? 🥺”
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Uhhhhh I’m an introvert and I would rather talk on the phone then have to look at someone.