I heard a child call me that name at work today, and it isn’t a commonly used name. It’s a cruel joke that my distant cousins created. They created the nickname, in the mid-90’s, to bully women they thought were fat. They typically use the name to call women obese, and imply that they smell (due to obesity related hygiene problems; poor wiping, mold growth between fat folds, infectious smells, etc). I’m not even overweight. I shower every day, after I run a mile and walk a mile for exercise.

My “sister” (who is most likely not my biological sister, but was raised with me), has a lot of nerve to call anyone fat. She is obese. I really hope the cruel bullying isn’t coming from her, but I am pretty sure it is. She acts catty, and immature when socializing with groups of other women. She will often pull me aside in conversations amongst family to trash talk other women. I’m sick of it. If she’s willing to do that when I’m present, I’m sure she is doing the same thing to me, when I’m not present. The sad part is, she is a college graduate with this mentality. She graduated before I did, with a degree in the same STEM field. She would rather discuss people with everyone, than discuss work, or anything related to her career field.

It gets worse. She openly made fun of my son’s current school principal because she and the other moms believe he’s homosexual. I have never met him. I don’t care to meet him. She has been in his office multiple times to complain about how her son is being bullied. She complains to everyone around her about how the principal won’t do anything about the bullying. I offered to help her. I told her I could obtain an inter-district transfer to a school district with fewer instances of bullying. She just continued to rant about the principal.

I haven’t spoken to her in days. So what has she been doing in the meantime? She has apparently been convincing someone else’s child to verbally harass me about my weight. She convinced them to do this with an insulting nickname that she helped create to bully obese people. Mind you, she created this nickname when she was thinner, during her years spent in high school. Has she not looked in the mirror since the 90’s? I am currently recovering from anemia, an infection, a dislocated bone (occurred last year), and other health issues like holes in my stomach that were found by an MRI in 2019. I can still manage to run/walk two miles per day on a foot with a broken bone that was never reset, also. She takes her dog for a walk once per month, or so, and calls it exercise. It is, but does she seriously think that gives her the right to bully someone who is not obese, or overweight? I haven’t once called her some cruel name to insinuate that she is obese.

I was minding my own business today, when the child said the insult at me. It was a great day at work before this happened. Some person’s child approached me just as my day ended and said the cruel remark towards me while looking at me, and laughing. She had no other reason to approach me. She wasn’t trying to ask me for help, or for any information about my job site. She just approached me to help my older “sister” bully me. I am sick of obese, butch, female, bullies.

I am so sick of them trying to turn the younger generation into their messengers, or new recruits for their gang. The sad part is, women like her bully everyone this way. It isn’t just me. I watch them bully their husbands, their kids, and even the other women they call friends. We’re all supposed to tolerate their tyranny and their tantrums? I wish there was a way to sign her up for therapy. I’ve been through therapy. With my medical history of past surgeries, a roll over car accident, a failed marriage, having been raped by a distant cousin in my sleep, and being raised by two distant relatives that won’t explain why; hell yeah, I have been through therapy! Someone needs to film her behavior; the bullying, the cruel gossiping, the spreading of lies, or how she makes people lash out on her behalf. It needs to be shared with a therapist. There is no reason I needed to be called fat today. Especially not through someone’s child, being recruited to do that. Someone’s child was TOLD to do so by a jealous, obese, woman IN HER 40’s! Do the men married to these women think it’s funny when they realize their wives are bullying other women that haven’t had any impact on their wife’s day, or life, at all? Do they sit around the table and joke about it at the end of the day? What do they say? “Wow, honey, you really ganged up on that woman for no reason! You’re so funny! Tell me again how you used to bully people like her in high school, when you were thin and popular!” I mean, really! I wasn’t popular. Most of my friends were gay, one of my friends didn’t speak English as a first language. Another was abused by her mom. Another was often bullied because her dad was murdered and her mom went to prison. A lot of my friends’ parents went to prison before I met my friends. We weren’t popular, but we sure didn’t go around bullying other people who were different.

Seriously, tl;dr, what is my “sister’s” problem?!?

  • jet@hackertalks.com
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    6 months ago

    https://www.cambridge.org/core/journals/advances-in-psychiatric-treatment/article/helping-patients-with-paranoid-and-suspicious-thoughts-a-cognitivebehavioural-approach/2249747A0A5E647E1F8BFF3D6FABBB4C

    Six key self-help steps in overcoming paranoid thoughts

    1. 1 Become a detached observer of your fears. Readers are shown how to monitor and learn about their paranoid thoughts using diaries and writing exercises

    2. 2 Develop a detailed understanding of the causes of suspicious thoughts. Substantial information is provided on the causes of paranoid thoughts, and readers are shown in a structured way how to formulate their own experiences

    3. 3 Review paranoid interpretations rather than just accepting them. The rules of good decision-making are introduced and readers are shown how to review their paranoid thoughts and alternative explanations for their experiences

    4. 4 Test out suspicious thoughts. It is explained how to test out paranoid fears in behavioural experiments. Hierarchies of tests are constructed, predictions made and the results of tests considered

    5. 5 Let go of a suspicious thought when it comes. Readers are encouraged not to fight suspicious thoughts when they occur but instead to let them go and focus on what they are doing, not what they are thinking

    6. 6 Spend less time worrying about paranoid thoughts. Reduction in worry is attempted by showing how worrying makes things worse, introducing ‘worry periods’ and substituting problems

  • Today@lemmy.world
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    5 months ago

    Unless you’re in a very, very very small community, it seems unlikely that an adult would meet a child, somehow learn that the child was part of another adult’s life, and then tell that child to insult that other adult. It’s much more likely that the insult they’re using is more common than you realize and something children just throw around. Probably has nothing to do with your sister. Do you want to share what the word is?

    • ParabolicMotion@lemmy.worldOP
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      5 months ago

      This is the same older sister that has sicced guy on me that are ten years older than me, or more, in an attempt to make me date them. But in actuality, it was her trying to set me up for a cruel joke and bullying. It’s always men that are around her age and know her. One of them put feces on his chapstick, covered his lips in it, and then demanded to kiss me. This is the kind of stuff she does/arranges to bully me.

      And yes, we live in a very small town. Her son plays baseball in a league with these families, so she sits around and talks to all their moms. The sisters of the sons attend the baseball games and practices, so they probably hear her.

        • ParabolicMotion@lemmy.worldOP
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          5 months ago

          It wouldn’t make sense here. It’s a name that my distant cousins invented in the 90’s. Later, my “sister” began using it as an insult.

          Basically, some teenage boys created a name of a fictitious person in order to call women fat. They were actually using the name to describe a bloated body of a dead relative that had been discovered after it was too late to embalm it. They basically abused the corpse, and then tried to say it wasn’t one of their relatives they had abused. They gave the body a “nickname”, and then began using that nickname, as an insult towards women who were still alive.

          If I told you the name, it wouldn’t make sense to you because you weren’t there in the ‘90’s to have to put up with them, or that situation.