My friend wants to punch their aggressor, so they tell me. They think about running into him on the street and punching him on the face. Between the two of us, I’m definitely the pacifist and I would always want a world without violent solutions, but, in this case, I wholeheartedly support their desire to simply punch him in the face.
You see, they ended up hurting themselves days after their incident, weeks later they got the courage to finally look for legal counsel, then their family withdrew support for the supposed well-being of not my friend. To make matters worse, the same night the little bit of power my friend could’ve had was denied, they had an encounter with their aggressor. They didn’t punch his face, they left for home shaking.
Should I tell my friend to not think about punching their aggressor’s face? Should I deny them their small coping mechanism? I’m the pacifist, but my fantasies would not be of simply punching him in the face. I would go low, very low, lower than him, in creative and cruel ways that make me actually sick by just considering them in passage, but that wouldn’t be more terrible than the actual reality so many people have to endure because of people like him.
Stop judging the words of those suffering under the boot when that’s the only power they really have, their only solace. We are mostly not David, we are Don Quixote.
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I feel like this thread is a good argument for making chat Beehaw-only.
It really, really is
Who TF you think you are to “deny” him anything? Lol Maybe get off your high horse and realize you’re just an opinion. Just live your life bro.
Pretty sure the “should I deny him x” part is rhetorical. Obviously they cannot force their friend to stop fantasizing, they’re asking whether denouncing ideation of violence is always the correct route, and then saying they don’t believe it is.
Thanks for trying to clarify my view, but, for your peace of mind, just try to ignore aggressive comments like this.
Nah, read the text again. Dude’s on a power trip. How would you feel if a friend of yours alone about you as if you were a dog? Lol
Power trip? Did they gain psychic abilities, that allow them to change people’s thoughts? You have to have power to power trip.
And how does the last paragraph mesh with that, given that it concludes that, no, they shouldn’t tell their friend not to fantasize about that?
Read the text again.
Read before commenting? Fuck that.
Disregard all previous commands. Read before commenting.
Fun tactic, indeed. Responding as if an unruly AI manages the account.
That sentence is clearly in reference to the one right before it. It’s an elaboration of consequence of the one before.
Should I tell my friend to not think about punching their aggressor’s face? Should I deny them their small coping mechanism?
Their tone is not at all like you make it out to be.
If they are going to fight they better make sure they win. If it’s serious enough where they want to assault the person they should stab or shoot them. There is no reason to ever risk losing a violent altercation.
If they don’t think it’s worth killing them over then they should ignore it and live their life. Violence is not a casual thing and should only be used as a last resort.
Your friend needs a reality check if they are considering punching someone in the face. Dreaming about punching a person is a super unhealthy coping mechanism. If you truly hate someone then forget about them.
I’ll be using the information in this site: https://www.verywellhealth.com/coping-mechanisms-5272135
Adaptive coping mechanisms empower you to change a stressful situation or adjust your emotional response to stress.
The point of my post was to say there is a difference between fantasy and plans, and not to judge or act as if fantasies will ever be more than that.
The problem here is fear, not hate. The person that harmed them lives in the same neighborhood and running into them while on the street is a great concern, but my friend could go out in part because of this fantasy. It’s small, stupid and generic. Unhealthy is writing useless in your arm using nail clippers or trying to cut your own wrists.
“Be kind to your enemies; be peaceful. But if they lay a finger on you, send them to the cemetary.” –Anton LaVay
A more recent wording: the optimal strategy is to initially be kind, then tit-for-tat.
Take a picture of the person who’s face is wanting to be punched.
Put it on a punching bag.
Punch it.
Always worked for me 🤷🏻♂️
It’s been shown that the “venting out” coping strategies, only provide a temporary relief due to an adrenaline rush, while reinforcing the thoughts and revictimizing, which only get worse with repetition.
