He polls favorably among men who claim to be alphas but slip roofies in girls drinks
Bro I think that stripper likes me
See also:
- Men who think the barista likes them because they read their name from a cup.
- Men who think they don’t need to tip their waitress and instead leave their number instead.
- Men who expect a happy ending when getting a massage and again, don’t leave a tip when they’re sent away without one.
I spend a lot of time at bars drinking and people watching and guys leaving bartenders their number happens a lot more than I expected. Though I’ve typically seen them leave yuuuuge tips + their number, as if it impresses the bartender or something.
Is a happy ending on a message like a smiley emoji?
8=m=>~ 🥲 Yes!
Auto correct strikes again :)
Bless your heart
J.D. Vance is a festering tumor in a suit. But I really do think Nia was hitting on me the other night.
No bits on tips
Once again The Onion not being satire.
Hardtimes, they are a similar site and easily confused with the Onion, but let’s give proper credit to the publication.
Tbf, this community is called “The Onion”:-P
The Onion is to satire sites what Nintendo was to consoles for parents and grandparents of the 80s/90s.
Stupid Old Ass Boomers Don’t Know Shit Fam —The Onion
I totally understand the reason why there is confusion, and almost didn’t reply because it felt nitpicky. Completely fair.
I feel like we both mentioned facts there - hopefully we added something to the conversation, that there’s some nuance wherein it both is but also is not The Onion, depending on which “it” we’re talking about:-).
This feels like a statement that’s definitely true and only counts as satire because nobody has tested it yet
“Man, she keeps smiling at me. I think she digs me.”
“She just wants your tip”
“That’s OK. I don’t need to go full penetration”
🙄
Anything to keep the hope alive. I know that sentiment well enough.
Hey man, I’ve gotten with some bartenders. That doesn’t make me a dirty Vance fan. For shame!
Nah— no service worker would ever think that JD Vance is interested in them, or anything other than himself
Wooosh
You must have misread.