I’m kinda neutral. Being bi is great but I hate having to hide it

  • whinestone_cowboy@beehaw.org
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    1 year ago

    For a long time I didn’t feel like I was really part of the community. I’m bisexual and have had relationships with other women in the past but I’m married to a man now. I’ve found people in the community who say I’m not really a part of it so I’ve been really hesitant until recently to even try to participate.

    • Wahots@pawb.social
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      1 year ago

      You’re definitely still part of the community, haha. Liking same or other genders doesn’t change any of that. Getting married to someone doesn’t change that. Even though I’m dating a guy, that doesn’t mean I don’t still think some women are attractive. Etc etc. You are perfect as you are, and I say that as a fellow bi person 🏳️‍🌈

  • Leer10@beehaw.org
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    1 year ago

    It’s interesting being a recovering country gay because I’ve made a lot of lesbian and non binary friends but i still want to do the dating/bf experience :(

    • Gormadt@beehaw.org
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      1 year ago

      As a fellow “recovering country gay” I feel that

      Early on people were really put off by me, but I’ve always tried to be open to new ideas about the queer community.

      Shit I didn’t even know what bi was until I about 16 (It was always “straight or gay” growing up) and once I learned what it was I knew that’s what I was.

      Though the specifics of my sexuality would come into clarity the more I learned about the community.

  • Wigglet@beehaw.org
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    1 year ago

    Always grieving for younger me and wondering what could have been but I love me now and I’m so excited for that this younger generation has so much support and is expressing themselves in all the ways I wish I could have. It’s a beautiful things.

  • jursed@beehaw.org
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    1 year ago

    closeted but I thank god every day I’m bi regardless. genderwise I guess I’d rather not be nb but it is what it is 🤷. I’m more or less okay with what I am.

  • Daryl Sun@beehaw.org
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    1 year ago

    I like being ace. It does suck that in my home country, most people think asexuality doesn’t exist.

  • Juniper@beehaw.org
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    1 year ago

    I’m happy and take pride in being openly trans. None of my issues are in being trans, only with the people and systems that make it difficult and painful. I have to see them as separate things so that I don’t internalize the way being a trans person is treated as being transgender in itself.

    Otherwise I’ll be even more angry and bitter than I already am most days, and I’m truly trying to not be as much.

    • jennifilm@beehaw.orgM
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      1 year ago

      I second this! I’m really proud of who I am - I work in a rainbow community org and am really proud of the work I do, too. I’ve been out for a decade or so and two years ago I barely thought about being trans any more - it’s just a part of who I am. But the big increase in anti-trans rhetoric (here in Aotearoa - significant but still not close to what’s happening in the states) mean that I have to be more mindful and more aware of it, not in the least because my role means I do lots of work in the areas that have some of the biggest negative attention - healthcare, schools, bathrooms and changing rooms.

  • soiling@beehaw.org
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    1 year ago

    I’m not a very social person so for me the worst part is feeling left out of the community. I’m very happy to be queer. But I also live in a place where I don’t always feel comfortable being visible - those experiences make me hate my surroundings, not my identity.

  • scoobford@lemmy.one
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    1 year ago

    I’m actually not, but my best friend is Bi, and at my last couple jobs, it was often assumed that I was. I was a bartender, and I absolutely flirted with other men if it made me money or got a creep out the door non confrontationally.

    Being able to flirt and be friendly with whoever I wanted was nice. Unfortunately at THIS job, someone found out I’m going to pride tomorrow to my friend, and now I’m being frozen out. I had a talk with HR yesterday that people are “uncomfortable” with me walking a lap through the office in the afternoon to stretch my legs.

    Fuck office work. That’s all I’m going to say.

    • Gormadt@beehaw.org
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      1 year ago

      I feel this, I work in the LTL (shipping and trucking) industry so there’s a lot of people who are very much not comfortable around me once they found out I’m not straight.

      I haven’t had to go to HR about it for more than 1 person but it’s something that I’ve noticed for sure

      • scoobford@lemmy.one
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        1 year ago

        Honestly, I can’t go to HR, so it’s kind of stressing me out. My boss doesnt give a fuck, but if he decides he does, I’m out the door.

        And I’m sure this isn’t a news flash to anyone here, but it’s fucking irritating. Buncha squares made their little lives so safe, boring, and miserable that they have to latch onto anything different and destroy it to avoid thinking about it.

        • Gormadt@beehaw.org
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          1 year ago

          This is basically most of my experience with work, the 1 I had to go to HR about was something way more than just standard cold shouldering.

          I wish you the best of luck, hopefully they’ll get over it and stop being such prudes. Or hell you might make some office friends who are okay with everything.

  • Sunspot@beehaw.org
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    1 year ago

    Back when I was Christian, I hated what I was. I spent my youth “praying the gay away” and all that. As a result, I suffered from depression and anxiety pretty much straight out of the womb.

    Then I came out, was ostracized by my Christian family, and everything I was afraid of happening happened.

    But you know what? I ended up finding a new family who loves and supported who I am. I married a wonderful woman who loves me in all my trans masc non-binary, bisexual confusion.

    I realized that what I hated wasn’t my being queer, what I hated was that my family would never love me unconditionally. Now I love who I am and I honestly feel happier than I ever did performing the cis straight dance.

  • ryuko@lemmy.ml
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    1 year ago

    I mean it’s who I am, but the current political climate definitely makes things a bit difficult.

    • wia@sh.itjust.works
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      1 year ago

      Exactly! The world is easier not being, but it’s who I am, and I’m not mad about that.

  • Gormadt@beehaw.org
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    1 year ago

    It’s nice being a part of a community that accepts me for who I am.

    I grew up in a very rural very conservative area with a very conservative father so accepting who I was was something I had to work towards.

    And just being able to be me with a community is so nice, some members of the community don’t like me (I’m bi, so there’s biphobia to deal with from the community) but in general the community is very welcoming.

  • It’s a pretty intrinsic part of who I am; I can’t imagine myself NOT being a trans lesbian. My egg cracked when I was 12, but it took over twenty years for me to come out(and I’m STILL not fully out). I guess, after YEARS of hiding it, it’s nice to be openly queer, but, yeah, I’m not sure if I necessarily like it.