A lot of my friends worked in the bar and restaurant industry over the years and I’ve spent a shit load of time in bars. I’ve had several bars that were my regular haunts for a few years at a time, and I’ve gone through a few completely different sets of, like, “bar friends” over the last 25 years. (One of the “bars” was more of a bar/coffee shop where I drank way more coffee than booze, mind you, but anyways…)
don’t sit in the corner. The bar is where it’s at.
talk to the bartenders a bit. Ask about the local scene. Any events going on? If it’s a sports bar, ask about any PPVs coming up if they do that sort thing. If it’s a music bar, ask if they have any good bands coming up or if there’s open mics or whatever. At a minimum that starts up a conversation for a few minutes and gets the ball rolling. Of course, if the bar is being slammed, don’t just pester the bartender like a jerk, they still have other customers and a job to do, but part of their job is getting folks to come back. Repeat business is generally better business, and if you ask about what’s coming up in the future, you’re showing interest in coming back.
go a few times over the course of a few weeks. People will probably start to remember you.
any activities at the bar? They have dart boards? Pool tables? Open mics? I’ve sucked at darts and pool but I still played ‘em, and even played in some dart leagues, and no one really cared that I wasn’t particularly great ‘cause neither were they — it was all just an excuse to get out of the house for a bit.
the music scene is where I landed in the end. That’s been the last 15 years for me, really. It all just started by showing up, asking about shows, “any good bands coming up? What are the Bluesy Jazzies like? I’ve never seen them before, they worth the cover?”
don’t limit yourself to bars. Coffee shops, table top game stores, go bowling, whatever. It’s all really just about talking to people, starting with the chitchat, making inquiries, getting involved in some activities. Eventually you’ll be socialized as fuck.
Find a dive bar and go at the same time/times every week for at least 8 visits. You’ll know it’s a dive bar if it smells like the beer has soaked into the walls and floors and someone offers you a bump of coke in a bathroom that’s too small for two people. You will absolutely make friends but they might not be the best influences on your life. They’ll be really loyal and probably kinda funny though.
See that’s the wrong idea, meeting people in bars can be creepy and dangerous.
For everyone alone that want to meet new people go for some classes or groups. In anything that you think interesting. Learn a new language, join a dance class, theater class, matial arts, Hiking group, advocacy, do some charity work, learn some obscure sport like disk golf, go do some larping… whatever floats your boat. Don’t go for things you don’t already like a bit, like if you are an indoor person don’t go for hiking, it can get old quick.
This are the nice and cerified ways to meet new people without being awkward
There are lots of people who go to bars who aren’t creeps. I have several friends I can trace back to meeting while out drinking, and others from other activities like some of the ones you described. No need to shame people who socialize at bars
TBH I’m not saying you can’t, just that it’s harder if you are not a social butterfly, which is a fair guess. My suggesrions are more natural, less invasive and less awkward. But IDK the intentions. I’m a woman and for me and many friends it’s very very hard for us to just start talking to a stranger. It’s dangerous too. I just wanted to give another option for someone that wants to make lasting relationships
This is the way. If you want to make friends it’s so much easier when you start with a shared interest. Made many good friends in martial arts despite not being great at making friends, the ice breakers were all taken care of for me.
Yeah relatable. Someone needs to release a bar socialization guide for us to follow.
A lot of my friends worked in the bar and restaurant industry over the years and I’ve spent a shit load of time in bars. I’ve had several bars that were my regular haunts for a few years at a time, and I’ve gone through a few completely different sets of, like, “bar friends” over the last 25 years. (One of the “bars” was more of a bar/coffee shop where I drank way more coffee than booze, mind you, but anyways…)
don’t sit in the corner. The bar is where it’s at.
talk to the bartenders a bit. Ask about the local scene. Any events going on? If it’s a sports bar, ask about any PPVs coming up if they do that sort thing. If it’s a music bar, ask if they have any good bands coming up or if there’s open mics or whatever. At a minimum that starts up a conversation for a few minutes and gets the ball rolling. Of course, if the bar is being slammed, don’t just pester the bartender like a jerk, they still have other customers and a job to do, but part of their job is getting folks to come back. Repeat business is generally better business, and if you ask about what’s coming up in the future, you’re showing interest in coming back.
go a few times over the course of a few weeks. People will probably start to remember you.
any activities at the bar? They have dart boards? Pool tables? Open mics? I’ve sucked at darts and pool but I still played ‘em, and even played in some dart leagues, and no one really cared that I wasn’t particularly great ‘cause neither were they — it was all just an excuse to get out of the house for a bit.
the music scene is where I landed in the end. That’s been the last 15 years for me, really. It all just started by showing up, asking about shows, “any good bands coming up? What are the Bluesy Jazzies like? I’ve never seen them before, they worth the cover?”
don’t limit yourself to bars. Coffee shops, table top game stores, go bowling, whatever. It’s all really just about talking to people, starting with the chitchat, making inquiries, getting involved in some activities. Eventually you’ll be socialized as fuck.
This guy is wrong. The first thing you do at a bar is pull your junk out and make the batwings right after slamming a tall boy
Figured that went without saying so I left it out, but yes, absolutely correct.
Find a dive bar and go at the same time/times every week for at least 8 visits. You’ll know it’s a dive bar if it smells like the beer has soaked into the walls and floors and someone offers you a bump of coke in a bathroom that’s too small for two people. You will absolutely make friends but they might not be the best influences on your life. They’ll be really loyal and probably kinda funny though.
Bonus: if you’re gay, the guy offering you a bump will usually also blow you in said too-small bathroom.
What if I’m not gay, will he still blow me?
Of course he will, senator!
bisexual here: it probably increases your chances
See that’s the wrong idea, meeting people in bars can be creepy and dangerous. For everyone alone that want to meet new people go for some classes or groups. In anything that you think interesting. Learn a new language, join a dance class, theater class, matial arts, Hiking group, advocacy, do some charity work, learn some obscure sport like disk golf, go do some larping… whatever floats your boat. Don’t go for things you don’t already like a bit, like if you are an indoor person don’t go for hiking, it can get old quick. This are the nice and cerified ways to meet new people without being awkward
There are lots of people who go to bars who aren’t creeps. I have several friends I can trace back to meeting while out drinking, and others from other activities like some of the ones you described. No need to shame people who socialize at bars
You are right! It wasn’t my intention, I corrected. But I’m a woman so that’s a real thing for us a lot of times
Yeah I get that, best to mitigate safety risks by going with others you already know, but that certainly defeats the purpose of this thread
Where can I find a drinking alcohol, making comments about sports that I stole from the internet, and playing so-so darts, class to sign up for?
Beer making and Beer tasting. There are classes on beer tasting and even beer tasting contests.
But I already know how to taste beer.
not necessarily creeps but definitely true that bars are great if you wanna make friends with elderly alcoholics
What happened? Bars used to be the place to meet people.
TBH I’m not saying you can’t, just that it’s harder if you are not a social butterfly, which is a fair guess. My suggesrions are more natural, less invasive and less awkward. But IDK the intentions. I’m a woman and for me and many friends it’s very very hard for us to just start talking to a stranger. It’s dangerous too. I just wanted to give another option for someone that wants to make lasting relationships
This is the way. If you want to make friends it’s so much easier when you start with a shared interest. Made many good friends in martial arts despite not being great at making friends, the ice breakers were all taken care of for me.
Here it is, casually explained: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=vfxwNqLShyE