Half-Life 3 announced. America collapses before its released in 2031
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Irish reunification
Don’t forget the Bell Riots
For everyone scratching their heads…
https://memory-alpha.fandom.com/wiki/Irish_Unification_of_2024
The Biden cat is removed from the WH for attacking people.
There will be pictures of Trump’s penis.
Biden falls and is actually hurt.
Zelensky is replaced.
Trump narrowly loses the general election, promises to run again.
Biden falls, fractures his hip, and is removed under the 25th amendment because leaders need strong hips.
Its her turn
Trump’s penis gets leaked, conservative men spend hours making memes out of it convincing themselves their effort were to own the libs
Someone leaks Hunter’s penis pictures in retaliation
deleted by creator
And its a real hog too is my understanding.
Somehow I completely missed this
there will be more communists this year
Removed by mod
A new world order awaits
Now is the time of monsters.
A republican candidate for the house or state senate in one of the Dakotas will literally kill their opponent with a gun during a debate and get elected.
A truck full of uranium waste will disappear. The story will be covered by all news agencies for exactly one week and then never be mentioned again. In 2025, a dirty bomb will be set off by “Hamas” in a major population center.
An article will come out revealing that Biden’s aides have secretly been testing his food because they’re afraid of Kamala Harris poisoning him. This will not affect Kamala’s approval rating in either direction.
Someone will be murdered by a white women for picking up litter in a Walmart parking lot because her wine friends told her that it was a secret way for pedophile crime rings to pass messages to eachother.
In that same town there will be a single article written about an underage prostitution ring being run by a bunch of retired state troopers for superbowl games. No one will read it.
There will be a massive civil war on twitter over whether or not black people need to “take a break so that we can focus on antisemitism right now.”
Someone will leave cum on Rand Paul’s desk in the senate.
get this poster a lathe!
better lathe than never
AI fake fools a politician who complains on TV -200
Political assassination anywhere in the world +180
Joe Biden dies +150
A VP becomes president +300
Legal battle for whether Israel pledges trump free speech -100
Israel wins the legal battle +400
A fascist doesn’t become president +99999
Bitcoin’s price changes by $40,000 +200
Retail real estate prices collapse +300
Retail real estate gets bailed out +600
Any once in a lifetime economic collapse +200
Any once in a lifetime weather event +200
US involvement in an African military conflict +300
please refrain from using yankkkee odds, thank you
Death to America
I don’t know how they work outside the UFC and I think I fucked up using Investopedia
i cannot read vegas odds and i refuse to learn.
represent the odds in dollars or else gambling is banned
edit: i will accept fractional odds, begrudgingly
decimal odds are the superior format and i will die on this hill
Death to America
Any once in a lifetime weather event +200
There will be a few of these
Converting this to decimal odds like a normal person:
AI fake fools a politician who complains on TV: 1.5
Political assassination anywhere in the world: 2.8
Joe Biden dies: 2.5
A VP becomes president: 4 (why is this less likely than Biden kicking the bucket?)
Legal battle for whether Israel pledges trump free speech: 2
Israel wins the legal battle: 5
A fascist doesn’t become president: 1001
Bitcoin’s price changes by $40,000: 3
Retail real estate prices collapse: 4
Retail real estate gets bailed out: 7
Any once in a lifetime economic collapse: 3
Any once in a lifetime weather event: 3
US involvement in an African military conflict:4
What I should have done for that VP becomes president is Trump wins and then dies for a big 500 odds payout
alongside a sizeable Biden dies at any point this year for a 100 payout (which is on there)
Trump dies like a month or two before the election
This throws the trump/qanon base into chaos. Some dive deeper into their fantasies, trump isn’t dead he faked his death so he could do covert ops and lead the white hats. Others lose their minds and accuse the deep state of assassinating him. There’s isolated incidents of stochastic terrorism, but mostly his base is too cowardly and unorganized to do anything, plus they’d rather watch their shows than take any action, so nothing really happens except for a brief increase in funny/sad facebook screenshots.
All the chaos results in Biden being reelected.
Biden dies like the day after he’s inaugurated.
Biden's new VP becomes president. Finally, we have the best woman for the job!
I unironically believe that Hillary Clinton would strangle Biden to death with her bare hands in the oval office to take his spot.
And then one of her psycho failure acolyte assistants walks in while she’s panting over his crumpled corpse and says “Uhhhhh, he’s not getting up, is he?”
it’s joever
Trump dies before election, wins by write-in because supporters refuse to believe it. Running mate Vince McMahon becomes president.
Republican party actually has navigate this shambles, because they put Meatball Ron on the ballot as they can’t nominate a literal corpse but he only got 4% of votes nationwide lol
Trump’s dad lived to be 93 and his mom lived to 88. Trump himself is only 77. He’s probably got at least another 10 years in him.
trump got the vax though so he only has 2 years left to live at most
he also got infected by covid once
covid please, just do this one thing
Every single moment of 2024 is going to be worse than 2023. So imagine 2023 again but worse and normie dipshits getting increasingly belligerent and unhinged when any of this is pointed out.
Cottage cheese-filled pineapples ala Marguerite Patten become a minor trend on Tiktok for a week.
Your parents get an unofficial separation but are too poor to actually move out so instead chalk sales go way up as miserable boomers with brains fucked up my extremist gender ideology dived their houses in two. Children kill themselves to avoid serving as the middlemen messenger who have to tell the other parent about which bills haven’t been paid.
Switch 2 is announced and disappoints as it only does the bare-minimum people expect a console to do. Live-action Zelda trailer drops and people who think video game movies are good defend it using their mental health as a shield.
A “mysterious” disease colloquially known as super-COVID exists and kills 1-2% of the population. The current vaccinations that are 12.5-25% effective against it and cost $125 will be used to blame the deaths on individuals’ financial irresponsibility.
Mel Gibson denounces NATO and I’m forced to stan and watch the Lethal Weapon films again.
Edit: Bruce Willis’ children speak into his barely-conscious brain via an earpiece to tell people to vote for Biden in a commercial.
Fried pineapple? Or uncooked?
Whatever’s more disgusting and discordant with cooking design.
Boiled pineapple would be cursed af
Pressure cooked.
Brilliant
Look on the upside. It’ll be easier then 2025!
George RR Martin finishes writing The Winds of Winter but the sole manuscript is stolen. the thief anonymously sells the book to the highest bidder, who turns out to be Martin Shkreli, buying it for 69 bitcoins. he burns the manuscript live on Twitch
page by page
Maybe hold each one up to the camera once it’s 20% gone, and give little glimpses of what was there before it vanishes into ash.
Palestinian cat goes viral. Israel will try desperately to get an Israeli to get back the narrative which completely backfires with every embarrassing attempt.
Ukraine war will spread to Moldova, crashing the economy of the maldives.
Honestly, most westerners would be more outraged at the zionists murdering a Palestinian cat or dog than they get at them murdering a Palestinian child
Yeah but then the IDF will tweet out “dogs are Hamas” and thousands of libs will put their dogs down.
No not the cute puppers :(
Ngl I think this wouldn’t work, whyite people fuckin love dogs. Whiyte people love dogs more than their kids.
Maybe in 1 year is too soon but building off the Chinese balloon story this year
Made in Mexico Chinese EVs start slowly getting sold in USA before the US can fully roll out new tariffs to stop them. Americans go batshit insane and start destroying any Chinese EV they see on the road. At least 1 person gets shot while inside one
Austria had a bit of a hilarious shitfit recently on the grounds of the EUs “lowest bidder every time means best use of tax money” regulation for public acquisition awarded a fleet contract for EVs to chinese company BYD because turns out they’re the lowest bidder and suddenly every fan of big boy adult lean state economic obligation suddenly turned into a protectionist when their rules inevitably lead to pretty much exactly what they want to happen
I just want Nios and BYDs
The Bell Riots will start in September
Things continue to get worse
gonna get into a fistfight thinking it’s going to be cool like in yakuza and as it turns out hand to hand combat is not as cool as it is in yakuza
Lies, bicycles function as weapons just as well in real life as they do in Yakuza.
I’ll probably further my transition, come out to more people, start dressing more femme, and maybe even get my hands on some of the good stuff
Russia attempts a large offensive, trying to end the war before spring. The army makes modest gains, then the offensive stalls again. The war continues by January 2025.
The war in Gaza continues being a meat-grinder with heavy Palestinian, mostly civilian losses and a slow pace of the Israeli offensive. Eventually, a ceasefire happens somewhere in late spring and the situation returns to the pre-October status quo.
A new round of unrest in Venezuela happens after the election.
Fascists win a bunch of European elections.
Some new climate-change related catastrophes happen in both the global north and south, causing unrest and migration in the most affected countries.
New temperature records and “hottest month in history” happen several times through the year.
Some old celebrity or person in position of power, say the pope, dies.
Trump gets blocked from the ballot in multiple states, causing him to drop out of the race and not endorse anyone. Kennedy gets over 10% of the vote. If Biden survives, he wins. Nevertheless, the turnout will drop.
The bourgeois economies remain afloat, stagnant and sickly, but no crisis yet.
Right wing terrorism continues to rear its ugly head.
The UK government doesn’t survive until the 2025 election. The Tories go further right, but bootleg Tony Blair wins and changes nothing about the current policies of the United Kingdom… except give more money to cops.
China and Russia remain stable.
The left keeps shrinking.
Trump gets blocked from the ballot in multiple states, causing him to drop out of the race and not endorse anyone.
This is so catty and in-character lol
